Fish jokes
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt?
Now he's a bronze fish.
What do you call a fish that can use a katana?
A salmon-rai.
What do you call a goldfish that got third place? A bronze fish.
Which is the odd one out? FISH, SNAKE, STEPHEN HAWKING, HORSE.
Horse, of course — the rest can't walk.
What do you think fish tasted like before women started swimming?
Why did the fish go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling “eel.”
What makes you guys high?
I get high when I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.
I still can’t forget that tiny little dead fish in my blue lunchbox.
2+2=🐟
I ate Nemo.
The bank said go to the river bank. Oh, oh, oh, good fishy joke!
What did the fish say when he got to the dam?
"Dam water."
"Dam!"
Which part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales!
A blind man is going for a walk. Eventually, he reaches a fish market.
He yells, "Hello ladies!"
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.
I’m breaking up with you, bitch.
"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?"
"Sofishticated."
What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A sturgeon!
Why was the rapper bad at fishing?
Because he always threw back the lines!
The fish swam in litter and oh, dam!