Fish jokes

Lil Johnny looked in his pants and couldn’t find his fish, so he started to yell out, "Lil fishy, lil fishy, lil fishy!" They called child support and sent the parents to jail for putting a fish up a child’s butt.

What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish? A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.

Which fish is the most famous? The star fish!

In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.

It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.

Do you like fish sticks?

If you do, you're a gay fish.

Why did the rapper bring a fishing rod to the studio?

To reel in some KILLER HOOKS.

I shidded out my baby, then became a fish.

Did you hear about the fish and chips? The fish got battered, the chips got salted.

Sydney has a fat pair of spammy flaps that smell of fish 🎣.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

I found Nemo.

He was tasty.

My dad and I were fishing one day.

That’s where he met my stepmom.

I went fishing while watching porn, and my girlfriend said, "Well, you want my fish?" and I said, "But you're not in the water."

Q: If cats have cat babies, dogs have dog babies, and tigers have tiger babies, what do fish have?

A: Eggs.

What type of fish goes best with peanut butter?

Jellyfish!

Confusion life question!!!

* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.

You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.

What do you call a gay Megalodon?

Magalogay.

What did Nemo's dad say? "Man, he's a lot like my dad, I can never find him!"