Firearm jokes

What do birds and children have in common?

If you shoot them, they die.

When the school shooter is getting roasted because of his Pokemon lunch box, but they don't know that there is a Glock 34 inside.

When the school shooter gives the autistic kid a glock and he shoots himself, thinking it’s a cigarette.

Are you a gun because I want to live with you?

Billy: Dad, I was shot by a sniper!

Dad: Uh...

*hides his rifle*

What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?

"That is bull crap!"

What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point?

An AK-46.

What do you do if you see a nigger shot 50 times? Stop laughing and reload.

I tell a man, "Get me a Glock 19." He comes back with a glove. I was about to shout at him, but then I saw a pistol in his pocket, so I left and thanked him.

Me and my friend were hunting ducks. He had a 12 gauge shotgun, and he looked over and I had a .50 caliber machine gun. He said, "You're crazy!" I responded, "Quackers."

39, 41, 43, AK, 47... AK-47.

1, 3, 5, M, 9... M-9.

What do you call an abo with a shotgun?

Sir.

If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?

None, the rest fly away.

Orphan: Shooting gun at shooting range, "I'm out of bullets, got a magazine?"

Guy: That's probably because you're single.

I wish I was a policeman, 'cause then I would actually have a gun to shoot myself with.

Why don't a gun and an orphan have anything in common? The gun is actually useful.

Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?

The quiet kid: AK-47.

In our history class we were on our China unit and learning a little about gunpowder.

And I said "WOAH THAT'S LIT!"

Why are the best used guns from France?

Because they have never been fired and they have only been dropped once.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair with a gun? RG-XD