Finger jokes
Two friends are in a hospital lobby. Friend 2 notices Friend 1 crying.
Friend 1: "*crying hysterically*"
Friend 2: "Why are you crying?"
Friend 1: "I came here for a blood test."
Friend 2: "So? Are you afraid?"
Friend 1: "No. For the blood test, they cut my finger."
Friend 2: "*crying hysterically*"
Friend 1: "Why are you crying?"
Friend 2: "I came here for a urine test."
When you accidentally wipe a little too hard and your finger goes up your bumhole, triggering flashbacks of when you were 10 and your uncle stayed a few weeks. 😂
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A minor, and the other one plays guitar.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
What's the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What do you do after raping a deaf person? Cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone.
MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;]
I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.
My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."
You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?
Why is the blind kid popular?
He can't see the middle fingers.
Who was the meanest man in the world?
He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.
I downloaded Fruit Ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself.
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.
As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."
My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"
Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
Out of a catalogue. 😁
I awoke after being raped and was shocked to find my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.
Class: no one stands up.
Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room*
Little Johnny: *stands up*
Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?
Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.
My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.
Why are pedophiles good at playing guitar?
Because they are good at fingering A minor.