Finger jokes
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.
Class: no one stands up.
Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room*
Little Johnny: *stands up*
Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?
Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.
My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.
Why are pedophiles good at playing guitar?
Because they are good at fingering A minor.
What's the best finger for fingering A minor?
Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?
"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."
Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?
So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.
Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
A Souls fan raped me. He said, "Try finger, but hole."
Why crack your fingers when you can finger your crack?
Period blood is like KFC, because it's finger-licking good!
You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.
The pastor jumped at the chance to meet Ariana the other day.
He also grabbed, fondled, and fingered. Some might say he was milking the situation.
Why did the priest want to learn how to play the organ?
He wanted to be able to finger A minor.
What is the opposite of a lady finger?
Answer: Mentos.
You are getting Cole for Christmas, you shit fuckers.
Your mom is a joke.
You're all gay. HEHEHE!
Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents were taken, so he shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: "Can I play with your bellybutton? My mom always lets me when we camp." So the teacher says: "Sure." 5 minutes later the teacher says: "Woah, woah, woah that's not my bellybutton!" Little Johnny says: "Woah, woah, woah, that's not my finger."
Little Steven was scared to take a shower by himself, so he asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just don’t look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said that’s a Pu-pu-pu Bush!!
The next day Steven’s mom wasn’t home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just don’t look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said it’s a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just don’t look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights There’s a snake in the bush.