Finance jokes
Why do egos like robbing banks?
They get a cut.
What's the similarity between your money and your life?
It just keeps going down.
Yo mama's so poor that she only watches Frozen to hear Elsa sing "Let It Go."
Yo mama so rich the Socs got jealous.
If rape was about power, then my electric bill would be a positive balance.
What do you call a rich Chinese child?
"Ching Ching..."
Yo mama so fat, when she decides to workout, the stock market goes bankrupt.
If an orphan wins the lottery, what do they have to use all of it on?
Years of child support!
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
Why don’t orphans understand the meaning of a family reunion?
Because they’re not wanted, yet maybe they should rob a 🏦 bank ;)
Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...🤔
I have a lot of money, but I don't waste it.
So people call me poor until they see my bank account.
What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?
"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."
If I had kept all my two cents to myself, I'd have enough money to publish my own newspaper now.
What do you call a parent that is pregnant?
Buy one, get one free.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.
But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!
150,000$
Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?
You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-
(Destroys phone cutely)
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.