Finance jokes
Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?
You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-
(Destroys phone cutely)
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.
You're so poor. You're just PO, you can't even afford the other O and R.
My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.
Yo mama so fat that when she bought food, she ran out of money.
Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
For those of you greener than a Mexican's card when it comes to this website, it's darker than the unemployment line.
What do you call a low budget terrorist attack?
7/11
What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.
Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.
Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.
I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.
Nah! You're so poor, you can't afford free stuff!
You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.
What do you call a rich Asian?
Cha-ching!
Once I was riding my bike and saw a $5. I jumped off and died.
Messi isn't as rich as Ronaldo. He cannot afford a Lamborghini.
Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.