Fight

Fight jokes

Drunk

    • A Chinese drunk and a Jewish drunk are sitting together on a park bench.

    After finishing his drink, the Jew takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Chinese drunk.

    "What the hell was that for?" asks the Chinese man, rubbing his head.

    "That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.

    "Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.

    "Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.

    The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Jew.

    "Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.

    "That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.

    "The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.

    "Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.

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    • Wheelchair

    • My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.

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    • Rape

    • If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don't bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want.

    They believe they are equal to men, right? So they are able to fight back, right? Then prove it! My EQUALITY!

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    • Fight memes

    Depression

    • Hey, how ya doin'?

    Well I'm doin' just fine, I lied, I'm DEAD inside.

    Don't tell me "it's gonna be alright," I've tried, but I can't fight like this.

    Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight.

    Homophobe

    • What if you put a scared homosexual guy and an angry homophobic guy inside a stable?

    Hmm, let's see, if the homosexual guy has some good luck, maybe he will meet a super unicorn and help him out to defeat the angry homophobic guy :D

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    • Man

    • I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.

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    • Bullying

    • When I was young, I got bullied by two kids, and whenever I got hit to the ground, I would get back up and cry. Then I had the courage to fight back, except they didn't get back up.

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    • Cousin

    • Max Heart and his gay cousin Nickals Amoto say I back out of a fight. When he said let's fight, then last minute he said he doesn't want to, then says I chickened out. I [was] ready to fight, but his gut [was] swollen [and] his arms [were]. He actually looks like Humpty Dumpty, but [I] just wanted to say he backed out + Max and Nickals are both gay with each other.

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    • Kid

    • If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.

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    • Memory

    • Watersharky Music Productions Presents Memories by Conan Gray.

    One, two

    It's been a couple months That's just about enough time For me to stop crying when I look at all the pictures Now I kinda smile, I haven't felt that in a while It's late, I hear the door Bell ringing and it's pouring I open up that door, see your brown eyes at the entrance You just wanna talk and I can't turn away a wet dog But please don't ruin this for me Please don't make it harder than it already is I'm trying to get over this I wish that you would stay in my memories But you show up today, just to ruin things I wanna put you in the past 'cause I'm traumatized But you're not letting me do that, 'cause tonight You're all drunk in my kitchen, curled in the fetal position Too busy playing the victim to be listening to me when I say "I wish that you would stay in my memories" In my memories, stay in my memories Now I can't say goodbye if you stay here the whole night You see, it's hard to find an end to something that you keep beginning Over and over again I promise that the ending always stays the same So there's no good reason in make believing that we could ever exist again I can't be your friend, can't be your lover Can't be the reason we hold back each other from falling in love With somebody other than me I wish that you would stay in my memories But you show up today, just to ruin things I wanna put you in the past 'cause I'm traumatized But you're not letting me do that, 'cause tonight You're all drunk in my kitchen, curled in the fetal position Too busy playing the victim to be listening to me when I say "I wish that you would stay in my memories" In my memories, stay in my memories Since you came I guess I'll let you stay For as long as it takes To grab your books and your coat And that one good cologne That you bought when we were fighting 'Cause it's still on my clothes, everything that I own And it makes me feel like dying I was barely just surviving I wish that you would stay in my memories But you show up today, just to ruin things I wanna put you in the past 'cause I'm traumatized But you're not letting me do that, 'cause tonight You're all drunk in my kitchen, curled in the fetal position Too busy playing the victim to be listening to me when I say "I wish that you would stay in my memories" In my memories, stay in my memories.

    Firefighter

    • Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.

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