Fight jokes

What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?

Time to beet your maker.

Why did the dog cause the fight?

Because it was a bulldog.

Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.

What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.

Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.

Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.

I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."

What happens when you throw an underage boy between two Catholic priests?

They fight and... You know the rest.

If Stephen Hawking got into a fight, he could not stand up for himself.

On Paxomedy channel, I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting.

I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dug down into the issue, it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock, and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch, and that was the beginning of their fight, and weird enough, the Cock won!

I went to congratulate the winner, but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus, but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa, and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldn't have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment, and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!

Chuck Norris: "Chuck Norris doesn't fight, he just allows you to lose."

Me: "How come did you lose Return of the Dragon?"

Let's try to get to either max likes or dislikes, your choice.

And duck jokes, who would win in a fight, a baby or a pacifist, presented by duck?

"Pootin is a pussy won't even fight in the war that he started!"

"Pootin is a pussy and Ukraine is beating Russia's ass!"

So, there were kids in the bus, and half of them were white, and the other half was black.

All the kids wanted to sit at the back, so the bus driver said to all the kids, "Stop fighting. From now on, everyone is now green." So, the bus driver said to all the kids, "Dark green go to the front, and light green at the back."

Diddy and Hawk Tuah walk into a bar. Hawk Tuah says, "Spit on that thang!" Only one walks out. 💀

A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."

Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!

Red: snooore, snoooore

Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*

Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*

Chuck VS RED

Both LOSE!

You want a pizza from me!!!!

When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.

"When I heard that not arguing or fighting in a relationship represents a lack of interest, that's when my girlfriend started missing her makeup box."

What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?

Tug of whore.

What two fights can Africa never win?

A food fight and a water fight.