Fight jokes

A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"

What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?

"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"

Get it?

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.

Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.

What are the 2 fights Africa could never win?

A food fight and a water fight!

It’s like Sonic always says, “If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?”

What two fights can Africa never win?

A food fight and a water fight.

"When I heard that not arguing or fighting in a relationship represents a lack of interest, that's when my girlfriend started missing her makeup box."

What do you call two guys fighting over a slut?

Tug of whore.

My friend was playing a game and said he was fighting cultists, so I said Kanye's fanbase.

You fighting? More like you're dying!

Naruto solos.

What do gay people call fighting? It can't be beef, so...

Carrots?

I see 2 fighting with 3. "What's going on?" I ask. 5 responds: "The numbers are moving on up."

If a vegan and a vegan have a fight, is it still considered beef?

Wanna hook up at Mount Cook?

Jerry: My dad got into a fight on a plane.

Jeremy: That's just *plane* crazy!

"Demon Slayer" is yay, and who's your favorite in "Demon Slayer"?

The neighbor’s children challenged me to a water fight.

I’m just checking my Facebook quickly before the kettle boils.

I was trying to make a joke about fighting, but I couldn't come up with a good punchline.