Fight jokes

"When I heard that not arguing or fighting in a relationship represents a lack of interest, that's when my girlfriend started missing her makeup box."

What two fights can Africa never win?

A food fight and a water fight.

What are the 2 fights Africa could never win?

A food fight and a water fight!

I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.

Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.

It’s like Sonic always says, “If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?”

When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.

Why do orphans start fights?

Because they don't get in trouble at home.

Who wants to fight!? Hate?! And pick on each other through the comments.

ANYONE?

A husband and wife get into a fight. The wife says, "Go blow off some steam. I’ll let you fuck a hooker." So he does that, comes back, and says, "I’m off the hook now!"

What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years?

A war of nutrition.

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?

"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"

Get it?

What do you call a fight at a dementia unit?

A Sundown Smackdown.

Welcome to politics: You lie to fight and fight to lie.

"Demon Slayer" is yay, and who's your favorite in "Demon Slayer"?

Why don't you fight a dinosaur?

You'll get jurasskicked.

Jerry: My dad got into a fight on a plane.

Jeremy: That's just *plane* crazy!

I was trying to make a joke about fighting, but I couldn't come up with a good punchline.

The neighbor’s children challenged me to a water fight.

I’m just checking my Facebook quickly before the kettle boils.

I see 2 fighting with 3. "What's going on?" I ask. 5 responds: "The numbers are moving on up."