I was reading a book about an immortal dog yesterday...
It was impossible to put down.
I got kicked out of the school library for placing a women's rights book in the fiction section.
Yo mama so ugly she the reason why Slender Man has no eyes.
Snow White and the six Dwarfs, Sneezy was caught by covid-19 quarantine!
"Cancer isn't real. It's probably special effects."
How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!!
I am sick and tired of horror movies; it is always the stupid ones that die first. When you see a guy in a dark, bloody coat and a knife, he ain't there to just look at yah run; don't scream, run!
Sex dolls are alive in the Toy Story universe.
Dad: How was your trip to the park?
Daughter: It was good until the man came along.
Dad: *gasps* Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened?
Daughter: He made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off...
Dad: Oh God, what next?
Daughter: Nothing, that was it.
Dad: Oh, come on! That wasn't exciting, make something up!
What has a kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common?
They will never grow up.
Bowser ordered his Goomba guards to arrest me because I wrote graffiti on the walls saying "The Koopalings are evil!" "Kill the Koopalings!" and "Down with the Koopalings!"
SPOILER ALERT...
I was going to tell you a joke about Thanos, but T. S. snapped it away!
Why did half of the world not see Avengers: Endgame?
Because half of them were Thanos snapped in Avengers: Infinity War.
How do you make a pink Smurf?
You peel the skin off.
Go commit Thanos finger snap.
What's the most unrealistic part of Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.
Superman was bored and wanted to go out. He called all his super friends, but they were all busy. He even calls Louis, but it's her time of the month.
He flies to the liquor store and buys some beer and gets drunk. As he is flying, he sees Wonder Woman naked on top of the roof. He starts thinking, "I will fly down and have sex with her sooooo fast," BURP, "that she won't know what happened," HICKUP.
He flies to her faster than the speed of light, BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, and flies away with a smile. He passes out and crashed into a wall.
Wonder Woman jumps up and screams, "WHAT WAS THAT?"
The Invisible Man appears, holding his butt, and he gets off on Wonder Woman and says, "I don't know, but my butt hurts real bad."
People shouldn’t be afraid during a zombie apocalypse.
They can stay in their living room.
Stormtrooper: What should we do with this coffee?
Palpatine: Brew it!
Stormtrooper: What should I do about my overdue library book?
Palpatine: Renew it!
