Fiction jokes

There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did, and the ended up liking each other and getting married and living happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy actually snuck in Rayne's house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.

What did the skeleton say to Shrek?

"Jump on me. I can have two layers of skin too."

"I think Hannibal Lecter is soooo sexy... I'd like him to eat me!"

What do you call a zombie?

Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.

My dick actually destroyed the Death Star.

How did Harry Potter get down the hill?

Running, JK rolling!

What do you call a chill transgender?

Fictional.

If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?

I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

What does Stephen King call his wife...

The black hole.

How did Voldemort lose his nose?

From uncontrolled Gold Mining!

All Mia needs to destroy the evil young girl in Resident Evil 7 Biohazard, was using a pedophile instead of serum.

I fucked a Pokemon the other day. It is dead now.

Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.