Stormtrooper: My lord, what should we do with all this beef?
Palpatine: Stew it.
Today I explain what things are fake: serial killers, clowns, Billy, fairies, your life, God, Jesus, your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.
I'm also gonna explain real stuff: YouTube, your dad, scientists, teachers, God, Jesus, and Billy.
Stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake. A lot of idiots will read this.
The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.
Chemistry joke: Why did the Superman being normal people when a krypton was at him?
Because krypton is "stable."
Q: Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box?
A: She sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie to me!"
What do you call a fight between an illegal immigrant and a pedophile? Alien vs Predator.
I moved all the bibles to the fiction section because there is no god as said Stephen Hawking in 2011 but in 2018 god said there was no Stephen Hawking
Spock went to the Enterprise's toilet and he knocked on it. "Kirk, are you in there?" Spock asked.
Kirk answered, "Hold on, I am making a captain's log."
Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?
Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.
How does Skeletor feel after He-Man beats him up?
Skelesore.
Superman was flying one day when he saw Wonder Woman laying by the pool completely naked. He thought, "I can fuck her so fast she wouldn't even know what happened." So he then flew down to the pool and did fuck her.
Wonder Woman stood up and said, "What was that?" The Invisible Man said, "I don't know, but my asshole stinks!"
There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did, and the ended up liking each other and getting married and living happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy actually snuck in Rayne's house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.
What did the skeleton say to Shrek?
"Jump on me. I can have two layers of skin too."
"I think Hannibal Lecter is soooo sexy... I'd like him to eat me!"
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
My dick actually destroyed the Death Star.
How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
Running, JK rolling!
What do you call a chill transgender?
Fictional.
I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
What does Stephen King call his wife...
The black hole.
