Fear jokes
What do you call a rapper who's afraid of water?
Lil Drip.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
Your mama is so stupid, Patrick Starr ran away because he thought she might be contagious.
Wanna hear a skeleton joke?
Sorry, I don't have the guts to tell it.
Run, or something will come to you, and you will be afraid to tell it to stop following you.
so you have chosen...death
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven was a registered six offender.
One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.
Don't scare me! I poop easily!
Why was 10 scared?
Because he was in between 6 and 9.
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?
It was afraid of the nutcracker.
What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.
Why are New Yorkers scared of airplanes?
Why was ten scared?
It was in the middle of 9/11.
I barged into a Halloween party at my school with my air-soft AR-15!
I was so scary, EVERYONE ran away!
Yo mama so ugly that she gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.
What do you call someone who’s afraid of breaststroke? Chicken breast.
Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.
Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.
I put a guy in a fridge. He said, "I had a nightmare!"
So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.
I'm scared that it moves at night.
I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.
Why can't ghosts stay happy? Because they are too skeletal.