Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles? He got over it.
Fear Jokes
I hate nightmares.
You was reaching into you’re backpack and the whole class jumped through the window.
Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.
Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.
What do you call someone who’s afraid of breaststroke? Chicken breast.
This is the guy in your room at night
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?
It was afraid of the nutcracker.
What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.
So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.
I'm scared that it moves at night.
I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.
I put a guy in a fridge. He said, "I had a nightmare!"
Why are New Yorkers scared of airplanes?
Yo mama so ugly that she gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.
I barged into a Halloween party at my school with my air-soft AR-15!
I was so scary, EVERYONE ran away!
Why was ten scared?
It was in the middle of 9/11.
Why can't ghosts stay happy? Because they are too skeletal.
I'm never going bungee jumping because a cord bridged me into the world. It's not taking me out.
"Since 7 8 9, why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 1."
Why was the rapper afraid of ghosts?
Because they kept booing him off stage!
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
May our days be abundant, a dance of delight, May I navigate life with courage, taking flight. May our journey be a beauty, a blessing so sweet, May I celebrate friendships, where hearts and souls meet.
May our nights be bright, with laughter and cheer, May we live with love, eliminating every fear. May I grow in kindness, a serenade of grace, May our lives be a marvel, a splendid embrace.
