Fear jokes
I hate nightmares.
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
You are so ugly, when you went to a haunted house, you came back with a job application.
Why was ten scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Why don't Japanese people like iPhones?
Because they are afraid of American airdrops.
Childhood fears
Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't. 61.
When Little Johnny was about 3, he got curious and stuck his hand up a mannequin's pants. His mom says, "No, Little Johnny, there are teeth up there that will bite off your hand." Little Johnny thinks, "Oh no, I can't do that again."
A few years later, he was 15 and he had a girlfriend, and they were making out. She says, "Why don't you ever stick your hand up my pants?" He says, "Oh no, my mom says there are teeth that will bite off my hand up there." She says, "No, there isn't, just look!" Little Johnny looks and says, "Well, no wonder there ain't no teeth. By the way, them gums look..."
Why was 10 afraid?
Because he was in the middle of 9 and 11.
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?
It was afraid of the nutcracker.
Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?
Person: Big black what?
Riddler: ...
Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.
During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.
He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
You know how 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9?
Well, how do you think 10 feels being in the middle of 9 11?
What is the best type of snake? A dead one.
Most people are scared of clowns. That's why everyone runs away from you.
Why was six so scared of seven? Because seven ate nine.
Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burns. The sun knows better.
Why did the egg hide?
Because it was a little chicken!
If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.
Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.
I'd tell you a Kobe joke.
But I am afraid it wouldn't land well.