Father jokes
Fritzchen was supposed to remember three sentences. He asks his mother, "Mom, do you have any news?" The mother replies angrily, "Stop it!"
Fritzchen goes to see his father, who is watching a football match. When a goal is scored, he shouts, "That's it!"
Finally, he asks his sister, "Sister, do you have anything to say?" She is currently reading a story about a fool and says, "He is the dumbest person in the world!"
The next day at school, the teacher asks, "Fritzchen, did you learn the phrases?" Fritzchen replies, "Stop it!" The teacher is shocked: "Fritzchen! Don't say that to me. Go to the principal immediately!" Fritzchen shouts, "That's it!" Arriving at the principal's office, he asks, "Who do you think I am?" Fritzchen promptly replies, "He's the dumbest person in the world!"
Person one: What did the DJ name his son?
Person two: IDK, what?
Person one: Erik (while making a DJ motion).
A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh, Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
My father can take a joke because he made one.
Did yall know this?
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
A father came to his daughter's 18th birthday. He finally came.
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?
Father's Day.
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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!
Why is Biden a priest?
So kids call him father.
Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
You and me went up to stab your father. He was out, do not pout. They are coming after.
Orphan: Throws a boomerang.
Boomerang: Comes back with his father.
Father: Goes to get milk.
What's the difference between my father and acne?
Acne waited for me to be a teenager before coming on my face.
Did I ever tell you my father should have been on the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers?
But that's just my opinion.
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
A baby and his father are sitting in a street cafe. A woman bends over to pick up her keys just as a gust of wind blows up the woman's dress. "va va voom," the baby says. The dad chuckles and says, "Yes. I'd like to have sex with her too."