Father jokes

Father: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Father: So you won’t be bored. You’re going to need them there.

What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?

"I am your father."

There are only 363 days in a year for orphans because Mother's Day and Father's Day don't count.

I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.

Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?

They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.

Why was the orphan single? Because it could not call someone "daddy".

Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.

P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?

P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?

P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).

P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*

What is the most difficult day in the ghetto?

Father's Day.

I’ll never forget my father’s last words...

Oh fuck, it’s a bus!

what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?

you find the real one.

While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.

We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.

Daughter: "I know this is weird, but I feel like someone is watching me when I am sleeping."

Father: "Sorry."

Why can’t orphans be gay?

They have no one to call "daddy".

How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.

You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!

When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."

I don't get it.

Orphans are very religious, well mostly. Statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church. I mean it's the only place they can call someone "father".

Why can't an orphan be gay?

They have no one to call daddy.

What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?

Condoms.

Why do orphans eat water with their cereal? Because their father never came home with milk.