Father

Father jokes

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Orphanage

Father: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Father: So you won’t be bored. You’re going to need them there.

Orphan

There are only 363 days in a year for orphans because Mother's Day and Father's Day don't count.

Dad

I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.

Black People

Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?

They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.

Memes

Father memes

9/11

Twin Towers

My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Orphan

Why was the orphan single? Because it could not call someone "daddy".

Chicken

Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.

P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?

P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?

P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).

P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*

Word

I’ll never forget my father’s last words...

Oh fuck, it’s a bus!

Daddy

what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?

you find the real one.

Incest

While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.

We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.

Daughter

Daughter: "I know this is weird, but I feel like someone is watching me when I am sleeping."

Father: "Sorry."

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    • Family

    You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!

    Milk

    When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."

    Orphan

    I don't get it.

    Orphans are very religious, well mostly. Statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church. I mean it's the only place they can call someone "father".