Father jokes

"Your pussy is sweeter than Mom's," Brother admired his sister.

"I know," replied Sister. "Father told me too."

A man was asked by his 21 years old daughter, "Dad, how do you give a blowjob to a man that has a big dick?"

Her father replied, "Honey, you should have watched me last night. It was inside my mouth. Does it cycle now?"

Little Johnny's dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later, his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it, he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off.

"What was that, Dad?" asked lil Johnny. "Oh, just a bug," said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny's face, he then says, "That bug sure had a big dick, didn't he?"

Father: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Father: So you won’t be bored. You’re going to need them there.

What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?

"I am your father."

There are only 363 days in a year for orphans because Mother's Day and Father's Day don't count.

Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?

They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.

I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.

Why was the orphan single? Because it could not call someone "daddy".

Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.

P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?

P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?

P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).

P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*

What is the most difficult day in the ghetto?

Father's Day.

Old soviet joke.

"Who is your mother?" "Our great Soviet country." "Who is your father?" "Our dear comrade Stalin." "What's your greatest desire?" "Becoming an orphan."

what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?

you find the real one.

I’ll never forget my father’s last words...

Oh fuck, it’s a bus!

Daughter: "I know this is weird, but I feel like someone is watching me when I am sleeping."

Father: "Sorry."

Why can’t orphans be gay?

They have no one to call "daddy".

Why do orphans eat water with their cereal? Because their father never came home with milk.

How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.

You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!

Why can't an orphan be gay?

They have no one to call daddy.