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Fat jokes

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A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills, so he asks the bartender if it's a jar of tips. The bartender says no, it's for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, "Well, if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month." So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog. When all is silent, the man walks in and asks, "So where is the fat lady with the tooth?"

One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"

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    • Bob the Golden Retriever and Lily the Husky were talking at Bob's house.

    Lily: Bob, do you think I'm fat?

    Bob: No, Lily, of course not! You're just a little husky!!!! Lol. Golden Retrievers are funny.

    Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

    How Jupiter was discovered.

    Once there was a fat lady who farted yellow, orange, and peach. All that fart went to space and created a planet that NASA saw and went over there, but it smelled really bad.

    Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.

    Your mama is so fat that when she wears yellow, kids run after her thinking they missed the school bus.