Fat

Fat jokes

Mirror

1 view ·

Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.

Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?

Japan

2 views ·

Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?

A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.

Mom

11 views ·

Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF

Tech

9 views ·

Tech administrator of a school: Hm, a message from Google security?

Tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT!

Assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME?

Tech administrator of a school: WE'VE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE!

Assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board.

A FEW MOMENTS LATER

Head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, almost as good as the one with Jack, Jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA

Tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right?

Head of school board: *whispers* yeah we're fucked...

TWO HOURS LATER

Important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!

AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER

  • 1
  • Homework

    370 views ·

    Teacher: Kids, what does a chicken give you?

    Students: Eggs.

    Teacher: Very good. Now, what does the pig give you?

    Kids: Bacon.

    Teacher: Excellent. Now, what does the fat cow give you?

    Kids: Homework.

    Arse

    97 views ·

    My arse hole hurts like no joke, man. I just had to tell that your heads a peanut, you fucking nonce, kid, you fat fuck sack, your mum you dirty cow!

    Yo mama

    64 views ·

    yo mama so fat she went swimming with the whales and sang "weeeeeee areeeee fammmilllyyyyy!!!!!!!"

  • 3
  • Skeleton

    52 views ·

    A funny joke scenario.

    Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

    Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.

    Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.

  • 6
  • Godzilla

    28 views ·

    The fat kid asked the teacher, "Is Godzilla real?" The teacher said, "They're standing right in front of me."

    Mum

    1 view ·

    Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.