Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer
A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?
Yu.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
Where's my tractor?
Why did the farmer eat a fork?
Cause he’s a dumbass
As a lifelong farmer, I was excited that Ligue 1 was moving up the UEFA ranking toward an Industrial Revolution and I can finally leave the farm. Alas, Pessi joined and we went down a rank because he is so finished. Shame on you Pessi, now I have to go back to shoveling cow shit.
Why don’t cows 🐄 have any money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
One hot day a cow wanted some shade. He found a tree and started resting under it but there was a chicken bothering him. The cow exclaimed "Moooove", the chicken didn't move, again "Mooooove", and still the chicken wouldn't move. The cow yelled "MOOOOOVE", the chicken turned around and said "FUCKOFF".
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story...
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story about a farmer walking around the farm talking to the animals. She was trying to get the kids to interact, speak up, and to use their imaginations.
"Mister Farmer stopped at the cow, and the cow said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Susie, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Susie says "He said 'Good morning Mrs. Cow!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the pig next, and the pig said 'Good morning, Mister Farmer!'. Johnny, what do you thing the farmer said next?" Johnny says "He said 'Good morning Mr. Pig!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the chicken, and the Chicken said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Billy, what do you thing the farmer said next?" Billy says "The farmer said 'Holy shit, that chicken is fucking talking!'"
As an honest Penaldo fan I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona. I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.
The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: I killed your horse... The second quickly left and when he returned he said: We have poisoned all your cows
Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? here's a good example...
A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apperently) through out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. "why are you running?" "My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he's bleeding!" They three of them decide it's best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, "What's so funny?" "Grandma farted and the house blew up!"
You caught a Penaldo! Description: Penaldo, the finished statpadder. It is said that Penaldo drains the energy of its teammates and sells underwears. Type: Ghost type Moves: Dive Disappear in big games Cry for pens Statpad vs farmers Sells underwear
On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me
12 tap ins 11 pointless dribbles 10 fixed league titles 9 missed penalties 8-2 6 dives 500million robbed from Barca 4 ucl semi losses 3 times he blamed higuain 2 retirements And a transfer to a farmers league
A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of achors so I punched him in the teeth
Why did the farmers wife chase the chickens out of the yard?
Cuz they were using fowl language!
Its about bottling Its about crying I stay finished I fake retire Put in the diving Put in the ghosting And take my fake trophies Eibar and Bolivia in my veins My barcelona banged by Bayern I bottle the game so whats my farmers name (Pessi)
I was at a farm in France called ‘Uber eats Farmer league’, then I saw a strange creature called ‘Pessi’. He only appears against farmers. He ran towards to me, I didn’t know what I should do so I decided to shout “Big games! Big games!“ Pessi scurried away
I was excited to finally watch the new documentary on Netflix. It was about Pessi’s UberEats career. In the trailer Pessi delivered food to French farmers. I watched the documentary and got shocked when I found out how finished Pessi is. He delivered one Pizza in 44 attempts.
Why the Pig declined to go to the farmers house? He would take him to a "pignic"
What did the farmer say to the pig? You snout to beleve it
