Family Jokes

There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.

MOM: honey im pregnet DAD:Hi pregnet im dad MOM:No your not

Q. There were 2 sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named? A. Denephew.

I remember my dad's last words "I met your father."

Mom: can I tell you a joke Kid: sure Mom: Knock Knock Kid: Who there Mom: Not yo Kid: Not Yo Who Mom: Not Yo Father Kid: Not Yo Husband Either

if you hit a child that's child abuse. if you hit a family member that's abuse. if you kill either, it's murder for some reason. if it's a whole family, its genocide for another reason.

do you know why orphans cant get married. because they will never get there parents blessing

Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?

Because the teacher said "Don't make me call your parents"

why cant orphans celebrate christmas - father christmas left them

One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately it was light beer.

Grandpa said no phone near the table so I said your not allowed near the school

I dont like the term "kidnapping". I prefer "surprise adoption"

My sister thinks shes so smart she said only and onion can make you cry so i brought the belt out and she started crying

What’s the difference between a apple and a orphan?

One of them get picked.

I remember my uncles last words: "I don't think were going shooting today."

my sister reminds me of 911 one moan of OMG got everyone's attention.

The Mother and her Daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the Daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The Mother realized this and took off looking for her, after awhile, she found her tugging on a black man, the Mother asked "What are you doing" and the Daughter replied "I wan't the chocolate"

What is Green and Red and goes round and round? A frog in a blender (this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended) What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? One can support an average family

Me: Want to hear a joke? Friend: Sure Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me. Friend: What's funny about that? Me: Because the next day they disowned me.