Family jokes
"I only want to play with your daughter. It was okay yesterday."
What's the difference between an orphan and baseball?
In baseball, you know where home is.
My Grandma, like any other, got an APPLE IPHONE 12, but as we all know, we get dumb, and so we buy a phone. My grandma did not even know how to use it. She even said, "How do I go on Google?" I told her, "YOU CAN'T!" My grandma was, like, "Yeah right, how do I do it?"
Comment down below, does your grandma do this?
Yo momma's so stupid, her family tree is a telephone pole.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple actually gets picked.
This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.
A kid came to the orphanage with a dead fish. She was crying.
Why was the kid crying in the orphanage? Because someone came for the fish.
Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.
"Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."
Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"
What do you call an orphan's parents?
Dead meat.
Zion's so fat, when he walks, he breaks his mama's back.
Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?
Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love.
I fucked your mom, oh wait, you don't have one.
Little Johnny is walking around and peaks in his parents' room, catching them having sex, so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! We’re just uh, making cake,” and they send him away.
So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother’s room, so he walks in and catches his brother and his brother’s girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! We're making cake!”
So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! How'd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.
The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!
Mother: We need to talk about sex...
Jason: Oh, sex, tell me what do you wanna know.
Jason had a big whooping from his mother and big spanking from his dad.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find home base.
Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they need to know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To reunite with his parents.
Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?
Because no one wants him.