Family jokes
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.
Cancer is like your dad. It only comes back when Blueface baby drops a new album.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Your dead son.
Why did the orphan become a criminal?
Because he wanted to actually be wanted.
Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"
Me and my brother Thalo
Your mum's hairline was so long that you decided to get therapy.
What’s a orphan's fav movie?
Spider-Man: Homecoming.
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."
Ok guys, I think we should stop being mean. That will tell their grandparents.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
'Cause they can’t get home.
Why do orphans not build houses in Minecraft? Because they want it to be realistic.
Son: Dad, how was I born?
Dad: Your mum's a hoe.
Son: OK, what's a hoe?
Dad: Your mum.
What phone do orphans have?
An iPhone 10R.
Jokes are like your grandparents, old and dead.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
Welcome to Alex's orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em.