Family jokes
My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."
I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.
Why don't orphan criminals go to jail?
Because they weren't even wanted.
I'm making a website for orphans. [I] won't add the home page.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back...
What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?
Nothing, he just started wanking.
What do blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
Did you know you can slap an orphan all you want, because what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Like if you don't have a dad.
I went to the orphans to paint a picture of their parents so they can actually talk to them.
Why do you not have milk with your Oreos?
Daddy never came back with the milk.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So that they had someone to call father.
Yo' mama is so stupid, she couldn't find a needle in a haystack.
What’s the difference between a mistake and an orphan?
At least the mistake was loved.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait........
You might say I'm mean but what are they gonna do..... tell their parents?
Wait..........
When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.
My sister was getting something from the basement, and seeing rats, she said: "Rats are so disgusting and ugly."
I turned to her, "Sis, self-hate is not okay."
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
Dad: Johnny! Johnny!
Little Johnny: Yes, Papa?
Dad: Did you hit your brother?
Little Johnny: No, Papa!
Dad: Telling lies?
Little Johnny: No, Papa!
Dad: Let me see your fist.
Little Johnny: Ha ha ha!
Dad: What is so funny?
Little Johnny: You are, Dad, because I don't have a brother!
Dad: >:(
Little Johnny: What? It's true!
Dad: You do have a point there, Johnny.
Little Johnny: Love you, Dad!
Dad: Love you too, son.
Why do orphans can't play baseball? They don't know where home is.
Ok guys, I think we should stop being mean. That will tell their grandparents.