Family jokes

I had sex with my boss's daughter.

I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.

What did the lawyer name his twins?

COURTney and CASEy.

what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?

you find the real one.

My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.

Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!

Why can't orphans watch "The Simpsons"?

Because they don't know who's Homer.

When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.

My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way, it really ruined her birthday.

While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.

We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.

Daughter: "I know this is weird, but I feel like someone is watching me when I am sleeping."

Father: "Sorry."

Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.

Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.

He was the best pilot in Arab.

Depression, I got it.

A girlfriend, don't got it.

A life, don't got it.

Help, got it.

Friends, don't got it.

Family, I got it.

Best of all, depression, I got it!!!!!!

Why can’t orphans be gay?

They have no one to call "daddy".

Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."

Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."

Kid 1: "As if."

Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."

Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."

Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

I tried to tell an orphan a knock-knock joke, but sadly, there was no door to knock on.

Why can't an orphan be a YouTuber? Because most of the videos are family-friendly.

Why can't orphans go to sleepovers?

Their parents never say yes.

A joke becomes a dad joke when it leaves for milk and never comes back.