what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
Family Jokes
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.
Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.
Daughter: "I know this is weird, but I feel like someone is watching me when I am sleeping."
Father: "Sorry."
Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.
Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.
He was the best pilot in Arab.
Depression, I got it.
A girlfriend, don't got it.
A life, don't got it.
Help, got it.
Friends, don't got it.
Family, I got it.
Best of all, depression, I got it!!!!!!
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
I tried to tell an orphan a knock-knock joke, but sadly, there was no door to knock on.
Why can't an orphan be a YouTuber? Because most of the videos are family-friendly.
Why can't orphans go to sleepovers?
Their parents never say yes.
A joke becomes a dad joke when it leaves for milk and never comes back.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me.
Why do people love dating orphans?
Because they're always home alone.
"Daddy, what are those two things on mum’s chest?" asked Tom. "Those are just... balloons," said dad.
(Later)
"Dad! I think mum’s dying!" said Tom. "Why?" asked dad. "Because uncles are blowing her balloons, and she said, ‘Oh god, I'm cumming!’"
What do you call a grown up with your sister? Your best friend.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until they go home.
