Family jokes

Why do orphans go to church? So that they can call someone Father.

My wife called me a pedo. That's a big word for a 6 year old.

Boy 1: "Sonic is a fictional character."

Boy 2: "Yeah, just like your dad."

When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.

Orphans are funny cuz all they do is sing "We Are Family."

Boy: "Hey mom, can we have ice cream?"

Orphan: "What's a mom?"

What’s an orphan's favorite movie?

Spider-Man: No Way Home.

Yo mama so fat, when she said, "I want a boat," they gave her a naval ship.

Kid: "What's dark humor?"

Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."

Kid: "I am blind, Mom."

Mom: "Exactly."

What does a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus have in common? They're both thinking; "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me!"

A man sees a small boy begging for money. He walks up to him and asks him if he is an orphan.

The boy asks, "What gave me away?"

The man responds, "Your parents."

A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.

Crispy, Juicy, Tender, I just put my new-born son in a blender.

I hate this. Everybody knows it's how I roll, if you jump into my van you get a Tootsie Roll. My uncle said this...

Everyone in my class: "I can't wait until I have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job."

My friends: "What's your dream job?"

Me: "I'm going to die young :))"

My grandpa unplugged the AC, so I unplugged his life support.

Why did mommy disappear? The dad: Well, when she crossed the road to get to the chicken, she only made it halfway.

Why do orphans play a lot of tennis?

Cause that's the only way they get love.

What do you call your angry French aunt?

A crossaunt.

Yo mama so fat, I saw her eat with 3 utensils: A spoon, a knife, and a FORKLIFT.