Family jokes

What’s an orphan's favorite movie?

Spider-Man: No Way Home.

Boy: "Hey mom, can we have ice cream?"

Orphan: "What's a mom?"

Crispy, Juicy, Tender, I just put my new-born son in a blender.

What do you call your angry French aunt?

A crossaunt.

Yo mama so fat, I saw her eat with 3 utensils: A spoon, a knife, and a FORKLIFT.

Son: Can I go to my friend's mum? Mum: No! Son: Dad was right, I am a son of a bitch! Mum: Bad news, but you're adopted!!

I had sex with my boss's daughter.

I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.

Boy 1: "Sonic is a fictional character."

Boy 2: "Yeah, just like your dad."

My grandpa unplugged the AC, so I unplugged his life support.

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.

Daughter: "I know this is weird, but I feel like someone is watching me when I am sleeping."

Father: "Sorry."

Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.

Depression, I got it.

A girlfriend, don't got it.

A life, don't got it.

Help, got it.

Friends, don't got it.

Family, I got it.

Best of all, depression, I got it!!!!!!

Why can’t orphans be gay?

They have no one to call "daddy".

Q. What did Hitler give his niece for her birthday?

A. An easy bake oven.

My mom told me yesterday that in this Valentine, we should take our love to new heights. So tomorrow I'm prepared to fuck her in "The Hot Seat" position.

My principal called my mom at school and said, "You should teach your son well." After coming back home, at first she taught me sex!

Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."

Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."

Kid 1: "As if."

Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."

Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."

Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You make them clap until they go home.

What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?

Adopt Me.