When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?
Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.
I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.
Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.
I told my orphan girlfriend that I had to grab milk. (Goes to the store, grabs milk.) As I grab the milk, I thought, "Hey, I bet I can repeat her life twice."
How to make an orphan's hands hurt: Make them clap their hands till their parents come back.
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )
The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.
Why do orphans hate school?
No field trips. Parent signature_____________.
Why are orphans not boomerangs? Because they never come back.
Lil Jimmy: Hey doc.
Doctor: Hi, sorry but I can’t see you anymore.
Lil Jimmy: Why?
Doctor: Because, Lil Jimmy, I’m a family doctor, you're an orphan.
Lil Jimmy: 👁👄👁🖕
What is an orphan's favorite song? "Lost Boy."
What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?
They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."
I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.
What is an orphan's least favorite TV show?
Family Feud.
My parents told me I was born on the highway.
Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
Joker gives Batman a phone.
Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."
Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"
A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"
