Family jokes
If you ever get mad, just hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
Why can't orphans play at a McDonald's play place? They don't have parent supervision.
Why do orphans work boomerangs?
Because it's the only thing that comes back.
One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".
The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."
A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
Q: Do you know why orphans rob banks?
A: Because it's a guarantee they'll be wanted afterwards.
I went over to a crying child and said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at an orphanage!
I farted in my grandma's breathing machine.
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
What do you call an orphan's family reunion?
Me time.
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.
Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."
When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!
My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.
Why are orphans not boomerangs? Because they never come back.