Family jokes
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
Why can't orphans get a home run?
Because they have no home to run to.
3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?
Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!
Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and get over it.
You're gay.
Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.
Your mom after your dad left and never came back with the milk
Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.
Little Johnny said to his mate, "I bet I can make you swear." His mate said, "Good luck." So Johnny told his mate that he slept with his sister. His mate yelled, "I'm gonna fucking kill you!"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
Hondo's dad and mum went up the hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a Hondo.
My grandpa and your hairline go way back.
I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.
Why did the female orphan become a prostitute?
Because she wanted someone to call "daddy".
If you've spent less time inside your mother than your father has, you just might be from Alabama!
What's an orphan's least favorite game?
Hide and seek.
A pastor asked his child what his favorite bible verse was... He responded, "Keep watch," because he wanted a watch.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Cause they have to hit a home run.
What is an orphan's least favorite movie?
"Daddy's Home."
Orphans got me like: 😂