Family jokes

Your nan's gay.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t find their way home.

Why can't orphans go to parents' evening? Because their parents left them.

"-JuicyFruitSnacks- A whole lot of pepper and a whole lot of salt. If I blame it on my friends, it won't be my fault."

-Mully- This is my mom left!!

What’s an orphan’s favorite holidays? Mothers’ and Father’s Day.

Why couldn't the orphan use his iPhone 6?

He couldn't find the home button.

The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.

Why didn't the pirate write a letter to his mom?

Are you kidding me?!?

My mom wanted me to brush my hair.

And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...

What's an orphan's favorite sport?

Baseball, because that's the only time they can run home.

Why do orphans play tennis?

It's the only way they get love.

What did the orphan say to his mom?

Where are you?

You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.

An orphan goes up to someone. The guy says, "Where are your parents?"

The orphan says, "Why do you think I'm wearing ripped pyjamas?"

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples are picked.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Cause they have to hit a home run.

Best friend: Let’s get tattoos of our parents.

Orphan: I don’t have parents.

My sister said I'm stupid and I'm a baby, and I said, "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about you."

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They don't know how to get to home.

Why can't orphans work at S. C. Johnson? Because it's a family company.