Family jokes
Why do orphans only buy iPhone XS?
Because it has a home button.
I fucked your mum!
I dicked your mom down so good, bitch!
This isn't a joke.
There was a homeless family in need of a room, but the guy said no more rooms because they were homeless. So, they got into a barn, and the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, that little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.
JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!
Why are mountains so cold?? Your mom lol.
Memes
Mom, Mom, I'm holding my little brother's hand.
Little Johnny, good! But he's not "bien" yet.
Why did Sally not save the mountain climber?
Because it was her dad.
What did Eminem do when he couldn't get some of his mom's spaghetti?
Well, he didn't make it back to recovery this time...
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
I'm serious, what's a "dad?"
Why were you born?
Because I asked out your mom on accident.
How did Steven Hawking die?
His wife needed a charger and plugged him out.
The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.
So little Johnny was walking to the bathroom, and he said, "Grandma," said, "why is the blood coming out of your ###😥 I need to call help."
I call my sister a "fat cow," and she asks me, "Want to hear a joke?" I say, "Sure." She says, "You are the joke!"
What do orphans use to make breakfast? My ass! 🤣🤣
My wife was going to have an abortion and I have cancer.
Ha Ha Ha
I thought it was funny.
Lol, mum's gay.
Dear uncle, I want my condoms.
A young, innocent little girl is playing hopscotch, and she says, "You step on a crack, you break your mama's back." Then she steps on a crack, so her mother's back proceeded to break slowly. Then she said, "You step on a line, you break your dada's spine," but the neighbor's spine broke, and in happiness, the thought-to-be previous father gets in his car and drives through the garage door...