Family jokes
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they can’t get their parents’ permission.
Why do orphans suck at homework?
Because they don’t have a home.
What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?
Vin Diesel actually has family.
If you’re bored, punch an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why is your mom ugly, bozo?
Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!
Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!
I wish my ex-wife would take me back. :(
Girl, come here, my parents aren't home.
Orphan: Mine are never.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they got nobody to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans tell jokes?
They have no one to tell them to, people.
My sister said that if you go to a random person's door, the sister will all Waze open it.
I told people your mom is also known as "MBD" because you're a mega baby dispenser.
I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.
Why do orphans have sex toys? Because the uncle isn't there.
What do people have that orphans don't? A family.
How do you get an orphan sad?
You say you will tell their mom that they have been a baaaaaad boy.
Why can’t orphans do homeschool? They don’t have a home to do so.
What did the orphan's mom say to him when he got into trouble?
Nothing, because he doesn't know his parents...
I watched the series of "Unfortunate Events" 4 times, all the shows 4 times. I am crying. I am trying to finish the rest, then my brother comes in and says it is PG (Parental Guidance). After that, my brother called me a baby, then he pushed me off my bed. 😭
A baby and his father are sitting in a street cafe. A woman bends over to pick up her keys just as a gust of wind blows up the woman's dress. "va va voom," the baby says. The dad chuckles and says, "Yes. I'd like to have sex with her too."