Family jokes
Why do orphans not play sport?
Because they need parents' permission.
I went to the orphans to paint a picture of their parents so they can actually talk to them.
Yo mama so fat, she is fat!
Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.
Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.
Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!
Wanna hear a joke?
YOUR MOM!
OHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Yo mama so hairy, when the baby came out, the baby died because of carpet burning!
My Dad keeps beating me and my mom. Please call the police. My name is Jacob Upchurch.
My dick is like the way home for an orphan, its length is never-ending.
Yo mama such a quitter, she di[ed].
Why can’t orphans do homeschool? They don’t have a home to do so.
Why can’t orphans live?
They don’t have parents.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know what home is.
If you’re bored, punch an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why do orphans suck at homework?
Because they don’t have a home.
Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”
The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”
Not to be rude or anything, but I'm not adopted. My boyfriend is, and some of these are really mean because sometimes their parents give them up just because they're ugly or just because of their skin color. We should stop making fun of them, and yes, I do giggle sometimes, but they can be really hurtful sometimes.
So, one day I walk up to my sister and tell her that she is adopted because she doesn't look like anyone in the family. She starts to cry. My mom asks why she's crying, and I say I told her she was adopted and I was there for the adoption, and we have papers. It was all a lie. She is not adopted, and everything is fine.
What do you call an octopus dad?
An octodad.
An 80-year-old blind man asks his grandson, "Can you grab my glasses?"
Then the grandson says, "Did you get in the flour again?"
Grandpa said, "No, it was the weed."
I saw a petition on replacing gravestones with trees so it will be a beautiful forest.
Son: Where's grandma?