Family jokes

An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."

A homeless kid once said he will go home.

My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.

What do orphans not see on a controller?

The home button.

What do Chinese parents hate the most?

A newborn daughter...

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked!

My uncle was a priest.

He had a two-inch penis, but when it was in my ass, it felt like a torpedo.

Your hairline is so big it took your mom a map to find it.

I love bullying orphans. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?

My mom said, "Take out the trash," and I said, "Okay." The next day she asked, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "In line to get crushed."

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know where the home plate is.

Me when the your, uh, uhhhh, when your me when the your, uhhh, uhhhhh, mom.

Your hairline [is] so bad even your mama left you.

Dark humor is like parents, not everybody gets it.

What's the difference between orphans and apples?

Apples get picked.

You're more uglier.

I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."

Yo mama so fat, she walked by the TV and I missed 12 episodes!

LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.

Shrek- Should I pull the trap?

*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*

LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB

The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.

What does a mother fear most?

Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.