Family jokes
Why is your mom ugly, bozo?
Roses are red, I like burgers on a bun.
This news: family neuters furry son.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.
A baby and his father are sitting in a street cafe. A woman bends over to pick up her keys just as a gust of wind blows up the woman's dress. "va va voom," the baby says. The dad chuckles and says, "Yes. I'd like to have sex with her too."
I told people your mom is also known as "MBD" because you're a mega baby dispenser.
What did the chancla say to the belt?
"It's time."
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they can't put a house.
Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? A: Apples get picked.
I watched the series of "Unfortunate Events" 4 times, all the shows 4 times. I am crying. I am trying to finish the rest, then my brother comes in and says it is PG (Parental Guidance). After that, my brother called me a baby, then he pushed me off my bed. 😭
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually comes back.
What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"
Me: Says to kid at adoption center, "You're adopted!"
Me and kid: hug.
Thought this site needed a little bit of nice jokes.
My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.
Who is an orphan's favorite soccer player?
Been fostered.
Why does your mom hate you?
Because you are a loser.
What did the orphan's mom say to him when he got into trouble?
Nothing, because he doesn't know his parents...
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They don't know where home is.
There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.
She really hates it when I spit my food back out.