Family jokes

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked.

Yo mama soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 1 hour later ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Why do any orphans have sex?

Because they can't call anyone "daddy."

Cool kid: I slept with your sister.

Me: Never knew my brother was a girl.

Everyone else: :O

Your momma's so nasty, she sucked your daddy's dick and kissed you good night!

Who likes penis?

My cousin!

My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked my mom how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your new stepfather."

Yo mama so fat that when she sat on the couch, the couch got destroyed.

My sister got mad when I told her to say this word 10 times, and she got in trouble, and it was a funny word that she did not even know what she was saying, ahhahaha! 😆 lol

Sister, can I see your two big rabbits?

A few male neighbors came over to the house to take a shower because, for some reason, their house didn't have water.

A few minutes later, I walk into the shower. I see the male neighbors and Mom taking a shower together. Then I said, "What are you doing?" They all say, "We're taking a shower together so we could save water."

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.

- That girl was hot. - She's my cousin!

Santa said my mom was good... But she is on the naughty list.

Your mom gay.

Why does Adam buy airsoft guns, you might ask?

To defend himself against his own father... his life must be shit.

What do Nemo and my dad have in common?

They both can't be found.

Your family.

What's better than throwing up a stillborn?

Making your wife eat it again.

So there were three baby chickens and two mothers. The first baby said, "Why am I named Calf?"

And the mother said, "I f***ed a cow."

Then the second baby came up to its mother, and it said, "Why am I named B***h?"

And its mom said, "I f***ed a wolf."

And the final baby came to its mother and said, "Why am I named Orphan?" And because its mother wasn't there to see it, this is what I have to say: "Because you are one, you ducking hitch!!"

One day Johnae said, "What do you call a family outing?"

"Incest."

Low key Johnae fucks Kirby and Peach.