Family jokes
So when my parents say no to "isms," I say, "Can I be homophobic?"
Parents: Let's have a bonfire.
Me: Let's go to the orphanage.
Parents: To bring other children?
Me: No, to have the fire.
Parents: Won't they be missed?
Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.
Kid: Hi Mum!
Mum: Hi, Loser!
Kid: Why?
Mum: You loser, why? Hahaha!
Kid: Waaaaaaa!
I know this is not funny, but who cares?
Cool kid: I slept with your sister.
Me: Never knew my brother was a girl.
Everyone else: :O
Your momma's so nasty, she sucked your daddy's dick and kissed you good night!
Memes
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Why do any orphans have sex?
Because they can't call anyone "daddy."
Louie being born.
How did Peter Parker get caught as Spider-Man?
Well, he weaved a really tangled web, and Aunt May saw it.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Yo mama soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 1 hour later ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
If you ever get bored, just hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Who likes penis?
My cousin!
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find their parents.
What do you call a baby that came out of their mother's womb? A virgin.
My sister got mad when I told her to say this word 10 times, and she got in trouble, and it was a funny word that she did not even know what she was saying, ahhahaha! 😆 lol
My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked my mom how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your new stepfather."
Yo mama so fat that when she sat on the couch, the couch got destroyed.
We were at a restaurant today, and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch.
I asked, "What do they raise there? Sea horses?"
What's between a wife and a husband?
A divorce.