Family jokes
What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises?
Your mum.
Why can’t orphans eat at a family restaurant? Because they don’t have a mom or dad.
Why are orphans so scared of the dark?
The dad can't check the closet for them.
Teacher: Students, tomorrow bring your parents to the open house.
Student one orphan: I don't have any.
Student 2: What is the difference between you and an escaped prisoner?
Student one orphan: What!
Student 2: The prisoner gets picked.
What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...
A female cow doesn't have a dick.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Yo, little sister, pussy taste so GOOD on my TONGUE!
Why can’t an orphan go on a field trip?
'Cause they need a parent's signature.
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.
Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was and pointed to me. I pushed him out of the car, and my other boyfriend took the front seat.
I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."
Peter: *curses*
Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mom with that mouth?
Peter: Jokes on you, I don't have a mom.
Tony: *having a heart attack* AFSJDHFKJJD Peter, we talked about this!!!
Why are half of the orphans blind? Because they can't find their parents.
I ate all of your mommy's orphans.
Yo momma's so fat that she got married to diabetes!
Who thinks people should stop doing orphan jokes? Type here so we can talk about it.
My brother got his legs chopped off, but someone FBI opened my basement door, but it wasn't my brother because he died of starvation in the basement.
Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"
Mister: No, you shit head.
Boy: Why? :(
Mister: Because I'm not your dad.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.