Family jokes
This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."
What do you call an autistic daughter?
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they never get a full house.
Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?
Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.
My sister Wani is a dwarf, so I sit on her as a chair.
I was naughty at school and my teacher said she's going to tell my dad. I was like, "Who's that?"
Mom: Son, where are my condoms?
Son: What are condoms?
Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.
Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?
Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.
Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.
Why don't orphans play GTA?
Because they're sad they don't get wanted!
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Yo mama!
I tried to make a website for orphans.
Sadly, I couldn't make a home page.
My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."
Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"
I pregnoot.
Why can't an orphan play kickball?
Because they can't hit home.
Your hairline's less straight than my dad's.
"Cummy wummy all over my mummy."
My "parents" are so dumb. Who tf names their son "Lydia"?
Daughter: Where was I born?
Dad: Alabama.
Daughter: That is nice.
Mum: We have never been to Alabama.
Dad: RUN!
Girl: Mom, meet my boyfriend.
Mom: Meet my boyfriend.
Girl's boyfriend: Dad, is that you? Are you back from the supermarket with milk?
Mom's boyfriend: Uh, gtg.
I went home one day. My mom said, "Look what a few guys got me." It was a MILF trophy.
My mom asked what does that mean. So I said, "Mom's I'd Like To Fuck." Then my mom said, "These guys want to fuck me?" I said, "Yeah." Then my mom said, "I still got it!"