Family jokes

Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"

Mister: No, you shit head.

Boy: Why? :(

Mister: Because I'm not your dad.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.

What's the difference between an orphan and a dog?

A dog gets adopted.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

An orphan was in 1st grade, and its teacher said to spell "parrot." The boy spelled "Parents."

What does an orphan call home?

Nothing. 🤣

An orphan walks on a path asking for his mum. Soon he remembers he doesn't have a mum.

(Also, I had sex with ur mum. She was screaming "daddy~")

Yo momma so stupid, she pooped in the shower.

I'mma monch ur nan's feet at 3 am tonight, ngl.

Who did yo mama marry?

Joe Mama.

Why was the chicken black and the other were white? Adoption!

If Jeffy goes to an orphanage, he will die. How is he supposed to move?

An orphan can never get a call home from school because they don’t have a home to call.

If you're ever bored, beat up an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.

What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.

One orphan said, "Daddy, chill." I was like, "You don't have a dad!"

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

It’s because they can’t find home plate.

Why was the orphan able to avoid getting into trouble at school?

Because they couldn’t call his parents!

Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?

Mom: Shit, I don't know...

Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Dad: That's my boy's!!!