Family jokes
Screw sister from a mister or brother from another mother. We besties from another testie.
Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
Your mum isn't home.
Why was your mom so into me?
'Cause she was the man.
Why can orphans not play baseball? They can't hit a home run.
What do you call an orphan's home?
No home.
My sister's boyfriend is mad because I fucked his girl.
Q: What was the orphan's first phone?
A: The iPhone X because it had no home button.
Q. Why was the orphan unable to use the phone?
A. He was trying to phone home.
Why can’t orphans go to a field trip?
Parent signature: __________
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.
Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
Timmy: *grabs box of Trojans*
Daddy:...
Timmy: Well come on diddy!
Daddy: Well shit lets go son!
Both: YEE YEE
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
Why can't orphans play on a computer?
'Cause they have no motherboard.
What do you call a grown up with your sister? Your best friend.
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
Yo mama!
So, a kid walks in the house and says, "Mommy, Mommy, I found daddy!" And the mother says, "Stop digging around in the garden, and let your father rest in peace."
What is missing when an orphan buys a laptop?
The home screen.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't run home.
The F in orphans stands for family...