Family jokes
What's the difference between an orphan and a dog?
A dog gets adopted.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Brother: Your nuts!
Sister: What do you mean? You're the one that has the nuts!
Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?
Mom: Shit, I don't know...
Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Dad: That's my boy's!!!
Your mom's like a candy machine; she pops out for anybody.
this is me
A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.
An orphan was in 1st grade, and its teacher said to spell "parrot." The boy spelled "Parents."
What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.
What does an orphan call home?
Nothing. 🤣
If Jeffy goes to an orphanage, he will die. How is he supposed to move?
An orphan can never get a call home from school because they don’t have a home to call.
An orphan walks on a path asking for his mum. Soon he remembers he doesn't have a mum.
(Also, I had sex with ur mum. She was screaming "daddy~")
Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.
Mom: OMG, why son?
Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.
Think about it, then spread LMAO.
Yo mama's like a fridge, she breaks down when she loses her cool.
Your mum lol teehee!
Alright, my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time, and what I say is, "Go get you boyfriend, dude!"
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
One orphan said, "Daddy, chill." I was like, "You don't have a dad!"
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
It’s because they can’t find home plate.
Why was the orphan able to avoid getting into trouble at school?
Because they couldn’t call his parents!