Family jokes
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they never get a full house.
My sister Wani is a dwarf, so I sit on her as a chair.
I was naughty at school and my teacher said she's going to tell my dad. I was like, "Who's that?"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why can’t orphans eat at a family restaurant? Because they don’t have a mom or dad.
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Yo mama!
What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises?
Your mum.
Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?
Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.
This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."
What do you call an autistic daughter?
Yo momma!
What's an orphan's least favorite store to go to?
Home Depot.
Why was the first orphan phone an iPhone X?
Because it doesn't have a home button.
Your mom's like a candy machine; she pops out for anybody.
Yo, little sister, pussy taste so GOOD on my TONGUE!
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.
My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."
Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"
I tried to make a website for orphans.
Sadly, I couldn't make a home page.
Mom: Son, where are my condoms?
Son: What are condoms?
Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.
Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?
Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.
Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.