Family jokes
If someone is mean to an orphan just say, "I will call your mum," and make them cry even more.
I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.
Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.
Q: Why can’t orphans play baseball?
A: They don’t have a home to run back to.
POV: Your grandma is on life support. I would unplug her life support to charge my third phone.
Q: What movie do orphans hate?
A: Fatherhood.
Little off topic but...
Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.
Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.
Mum: Fair point.
I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?
My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.
Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.
Why can't orphans use phones? Because they don't know where the home button is.
Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
Your mamma is so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.
What's the difference between an orphan and a dog?
One of them is actually loved.
Why don't orphans understand dad jokes?
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they want to feel wanted.
Why couldn't the twins never do anything right?
Because they were triplets!
My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.
Yo mama's cheeks are red, I don't know why.