My Relatives Always Teased Me During Weddings saying " You'll Be Next " But they Stopped when I did the same to them during Funerals
Secretly, I’m a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, “I’ve heard that sound, daddy has that game too!”
I like telling dad jokes.
He laughs at most of them.
I have so many orphan jokes im afraid most of them wont hit home.
what's a penguin's favourite relative?
Aunt Arctic
Q. What type of flour do orphans get? A. Self-raising flour
Why did the silly boy 👦 take the Christmas tree 🎄 to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
What does a transgender call his/her parent? Transparent.
Once my dad left to get milk then I realized we own a cow.
You know those paper families you cut out? Well I put one of those in an orphanage.
Girl 1: Dad, why is my name rose? Dad: because a rose landed on your head. Girl 2: Hey dad, why is my name daisy? Dad: because a daisy landed on your head. Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr! Dad: Oh, Hey Brick!
Why wouldn’t Mrs Grapes 🍇 leave her children behind?
Because she loves raisin kids.
At school, bobby boy's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "why are you crying". Bobby says "someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die". His mom looks him straight in the eye and says "depends, which one are you referring to?"
Why ate orphans so Skinny? Thry never eat anything tjat is family size
Incest is wincest (That was above) Fun for the whole family! Next of kin, count me in!
the whole solar system is one big family right? but everyone circles the SON.
I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...
Allahu Akbar!
There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-
Dad and Mom: we don't want him
Orphan: And I took that, Personally-
My credit card is more declined the the love from my dad
