Family jokes
What is the difference between an orphan and Pokemon?
People choose Pokemon.
When you're angry, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why did the orphan cheat on his girlfriend with a guy?
Because he wanted someone to call "Mommy" and "Daddy."
How many orphans does it take to repair a house? None, they don't have one.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
How do adults like their cookies like their orphans?
Homemade.
Why couldn't the orphan use his iPhone 6?
He couldn't find the home button.
What did the orphan's mum say before she abandoned her child?
OH it's a bitch.
Just to an orphan.
Orphan: You're stupid.
You: You're so ugly, it's the reason your parents are dead.
Why don't orphans play GTA?
Because they're sad they don't get wanted!
What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?
They can't see each other anymore.
Why can't orphans get a job?
Because they don't have a home.
You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
Why can't the orphan run past third base?
'Cause the orphan doesn't have a home to run to.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Orphans don't get picked.
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
"Stop bullying me!"
Bored? Punch an orphan! Who are they gonna tell, their parents?