Family jokes
Little Johnny was told by his friend that if you go to your parents and say: "I know the truth," they give you money.
So Little Johnny says to his mum, "I know the truth," so his mum hands him 20 dollars and tells him not to tell anyone. So when Little Johnny’s dad gets home, Little Johnny says, "I know the truth." His dad hands him $50 and says not to tell anyone. So Little Johnny tries it on the postman and says, "I know the truth," and the postman says, "Come here, son."
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because there is no home plate.
So I told an orphan if her mom is hot, he wouldn't stop crying.
My sister Wani is a dwarf, so I sit on her as a chair.
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Yo mama!
You’re so fat,
that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.
Girl: Mom, meet my boyfriend.
Mom: Meet my boyfriend.
Girl's boyfriend: Dad, is that you? Are you back from the supermarket with milk?
Mom's boyfriend: Uh, gtg.
When your mom tells you to stop playing on the computer, you say, "Foot you!"
Your mother's hairline is sooooooo long cause Dora the Explorer could not explore it.
I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.
Bully: Agh, you're ugly!
Me: Said your mom when you were born.
Why do orphans never play baseball?
'Cause they can never find home.
How is sports like regular life for orphans?
They don't get picked for either.
Your earlobes are so big, you can fit your mom inside of them 5000 times and still have room for more!
I'mma monch ur nan's feet at 3 am tonight, ngl.
Why can't an orphan go on away games?
Their parent will never show up!
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home.
Yesterday, I tried to help a little girl by a road stop crying. I asked her where her parents were, and that made her cry harder. So then I asked her where her house was, and she said with tears, "I don't have one." So I got her in my car and drove her to where she said she was living. It was an orphanage.
Why do orphans hate school? Because of homework.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite school event? Homecoming!