Family jokes
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Wanna know what an orphan's least favorite song is?
"More Than My Hometown."
One orphan said, "Daddy, chill." I was like, "You don't have a dad!"
Cousin: Hahaha, I am their biological parent.
Kid: So what? At least they love me more.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
Why don't orphans have iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they couldn't run home.
So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.
The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"
The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"
Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?
Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"
BAJAHAHAHHAA
Your teeth split faster than your parents' divorce settlement.
Family Guy funny moments.
I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.
What can Miles Morales do that Spiderman can't?
Hug his parents.
Your mom's like a candy machine; she pops out for anybody.
What's the only thing that doesn't change in Alabama?
The last names after marriage!
Who's an orphan?
You are.
What is an orphan's least favorite holiday?
Christmas, they wish they'd get parents.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they didn’t have a home.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.