Family Jokes

I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day, I love being a hitman

Roses are red my mental health is blue Karen got no mom like you.

Q: Do you know why orphans rob banks?

A: Because it's a guarantee they'll be wanted afterwards

what do a blind person and a orphan have in comen= they both can not see there family

I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.

Why can't an orphan get married. It doesn't have its parents blessing.

My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes and I replied with its not that deep

my gay ass: i want to find jesus religous mom: FINALLY me: grabs a noose

Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage

Son:why

Father:you’ll need them there

For some reason when my mom eat hot dogs she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son can anyone tell me why ?

Me: good night everyone My friends and family: night Me: *gets in coffin* My family: *stares at my friends* you aren't going to do something?!? My friends: *to my family* nope, this is normal.

They told me throwing babies was bad but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.

What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?

Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.

There was a little kid crying in the park today, i askd him where his parents were. Now i realize, man i love my job

what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?

Niagra falls

I was walking till i saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said where are your parents? He cried even more. oh i just love talking to orphans.