Family jokes

What’s the difference between 69 and a family reunion?

You only see one asshole in 69.

Why can't orphans have a computer?

They don't have a home page.

Dad, I love you.

Son, I love you.

What do Gay Men and Minorities have in common?

My dad hates them both!

Not a joke: one of George Floyd's criminal friends shot his grand-niece as they wanted a piece of the 27 million dollars.

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

If you bully a kid, bully an orphan.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were just texting.

What type of pictures do orphans take?

Selfies.

If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?

My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.

My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because it can never find home.

Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.

Why do orphans only have 354 days?

'Cause they are missing Mothers and Fathers day!

One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.

Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.

Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.

Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!

Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?

Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.

Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?

A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.

Family Guy funny moments.

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?