Family jokes
When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the Switch.
My uncle said he wants to be a dinosaur. I said why... he said so I could be extinct ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
I once heard my dad shout, "I'm going to be like Frozen and let it go!" Then I heard a gunshot.
If an orphan was Spiderman, which movie would he be in?
"No Way Home."
Why do orphans bully people?
Because they can't get suspended.
Contact Parent _______
Memes
Why is Helen Keller's child blind too? She always fed it with a fork!
A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?
Cousins make dozens.
Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
Kid: Dad, what is it like to be drunk?
Dad: You see those two trees over there? If you were drunk, you would see four.
Kid: Dad, there is only one tree.
Yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry.
My dad just comes and goes.
Me: Hey dad, I'm in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal!
Dad: Hi in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal! I'm dad!
This boy heard from a friend that if you tell an adult, "I know the whole truth," they will be all weird. So he went home and told his mom, "I know the whole truth," and she gave him $20 and said to keep quiet.
Pleased, when his dad got home, he said, "I know the whole truth," and his dad gave him $40 and said, "Don't tell Mom." Really pleased, he met the mailman the next day and said, "I know the whole truth." Then the mailman got down on his knee, opened his arms, and said, "Come to daddy."
While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.
We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.
My sister's pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad!
What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know? Homework.
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.