Family jokes
What’s an orphan’s least favorite school event? Homecoming!
Your mother's hairline is sooooooo long cause Dora the Explorer could not explore it.
Your dad's hairline was so long that he died.
I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.
Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?
Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.
Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?
Orphan: About 200 years.
Memes
Why can't orphanages play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like they're going to tell their parents.
My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!
Why do orphans use Samsung?
Because iPhones have home buttons.
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,
The present: Laundry.
*gunshot*
Why can't orphans make dad jokes? Because they don't have one.
Yo mama so fat when she walks the earth talks!
LMAO
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”
I bought this happy birthday card for this orphan.
To: The Orphan
From: ______
Why are orphans banned from the shop?
No adult to pay for them.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
My father, who flew the plane, couldn't have a funeral, he went everywhere.
Bro, the Twin Towers are like my grandpa and his friends. One survived—my grandpa. The others have fallen—his friends.
Why can't orphans score in baseball?
They can't find home.