Family jokes

Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.

His parents weren't too happy.

What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.

What do the Twin Towers and your siblings have in common?

Once they turn 18, they never come back.

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:

"You need to park a little closer."

When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.

Why can't an orphan win a baseball game?

Because they can't reach home.

Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"

Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apples get picked.

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.

One day, a man visited an orphanage.

Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"

The kid cries even harder.

Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?

Because the dad never came with the milk.

My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.

You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!

What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?

RoboCop.

What’s the difference between a basketball player and an orphan?

One has a home to run to.

For some reason, my mom likes to lick and suck on hotdogs. As a son, can anyone tell me why?

I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"

Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?

The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because they can't go home.

Orphans around my area only watched Youtube Shorts.

I asked them and then realized they can't click the home button.

Orphans have it lucky.

When teachers threaten to call parents, the orphans say, "Try me."

When teachers give homework, orphans say, "Where?"