Family jokes
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home.
Orphan: Oh, cool, something we have in common.
An orphan boy at my school did really badly on a test and started crying. I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.
Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.
Memes
One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.
Why can't orphans use iPhones?
They can't find the home button.
Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.
His parents weren't too happy.
What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.
What do the Twin Towers and your siblings have in common?
Once they turn 18, they never come back.
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:
"You need to park a little closer."
When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.
Why can't an orphan win a baseball game?
Because they can't reach home.
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.
One day, a man visited an orphanage.
Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"
The kid cries even harder.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because the dad never came with the milk.
My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!
What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?
RoboCop.