Family jokes
I made a website for an orphan.
It had no homepage.
Me when the your, uh, uhhhh, when your me when the your, uhhh, uhhhhh, mom.
If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.
Yo mama is so ugly, her self-portraits hanged themselves.
Why did the orphan go to the monkey exhibit?
To see his closest relatives.
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
Why do orphans die young?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Your hairline is so far back my dad even took 48 hours to reach it.
How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
"Your mum has very small balls. Congrats! I told her, your balls are bigger than your husband's."
I am Mario's brother.
What is a show an orphan will never be able to relate to?
"Full House".
Why can't orphans score in baseball?
They can't find home.
Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."
Your mum's so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?
A baseball player has a home to run to.
I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"