Family jokes
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
My gf/bf said: "I'm dating your uncle!" You cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.
Your eyebrows are far from home just like your dad.
I went to school on a Saturday. My teacher asked why I am here, so I replied that my brother told me to go to hell.
What do the Twin Towers and your siblings have in common?
Once they turn 18, they never come back.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.
Yo son so excellent, he gone to a Rubik’s cube competition who competed against his daddy.
My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.
Why do orphans rob banks?
Because they want to be wanted.
Why do orphans like to play tennis?
Because that’s the only love they will get.
Kylin fucks his sister.
My dad in 9/11; he was the best pilot.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.
One day, a man visited an orphanage.
Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"
The kid cries even harder.
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!
What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?
RoboCop.