Family jokes
My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.
Why can't an orphan hit a home run?
He's got no home to run to.
Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.
How to cure boredom:
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?
Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"
BAJAHAHAHHAA
I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.
Dad: Hey, uh... you're adopted.
Dog: *frown*
What is an orphan's least favorite store? Home Depot.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home.
Orphan: Oh, cool, something we have in common.
An orphan boy at my school did really badly on a test and started crying. I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”
What’s the difference between orphans and cars?
I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Yo mama is so lazy that the only letters she knows are "NO".
Why can't the orphan play baseball?
It doesn't know where home is.
What's the difference between friends and family?
One is actually real.
My father was a great pilot. He died on 9/11.
I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.
Yo papa's wife is so dumb and fat that we had to use yo papa.