Family jokes
Why do orphans become criminals?
To feel what it is like to be wanted.
Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."
Oh, ate the cheese? Urmom.
What did the orphan do when he got punched?
Nothing, because his parents weren't there! :)
Your mom is so slow it took her 9 months to create a joke.
What does an orphan and a dog have in common?
Both got taken from their parents.
Orphans can be a robber if they want because their parents won't be disappointed.
Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.
Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!
What do you call an orphan's family region?
Me time.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
They don't have a home to run back to.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why do orphans ride the bus? Because they have no parents to drop them off.
When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"
I got a sister.
That was a big mistake.
Dad?
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can’t hit a home run.
Why do orphans go to the market?
To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.
What do orphans like to watch? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?
Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.
Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?
I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!
Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!