Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
Family Jokes
I would invite you to play baseball, but there's no home for you to run to.
Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?
Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually came back.
Why do orphans want a phone so bad?
Because it has a home button.
What’s the difference between the twin towers and your parents?
Nothing, they are both just memories.
I felt bad for the orphan because he couldn't go on a field trip, you know why?
Parent signature: _________
Teacher: I was an orphan as a child.
Student: Sorry to hear.
Teacher: Is anyone missing today?
Student: Your parents.
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
Have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk?
'Cause their dad never came back with it.
Why did an orphan say, "I'm wanted?" Because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.
I hate when my father doesn't cook me cocktails for tea.
If my son was a real man, I wouldn't have caught him fucking another man.
Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
Anyone want to fuck? Cause my sisters are such cunts!
I'm always forgetting these kinds of jokes. I also forgot my son's name.
Your mom is so fat, when she asked, "What gift will I get?" Abuela from Encanto said, "Definitely Taco Bell!" 🌮🔔
What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?
Her dad always comes back.
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
