Family jokes
What food has an orphan made?
Homemade food.
Why can't orphans complete homework?
Because they have no home!
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
What do orphans not see on a controller?
The home button.
Another condom name is "Orphan's Home."
When an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.
Why do orphans become criminals?
To know what it’s like to be wanted.
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
Why was an orphan loving school?
Because the people actually came back.
Bowling is like child support: it involves balls.
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
Where's your mom?
In the bin.
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? Because they don’t get homesick.
My sister is so short she can't walk.
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
Ur adopted.
A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
Want a kiss, daddy? Want a blow job?