Family jokes

How come orphans know how to do laundry?

Cause that's usually the mom's job.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t find home.

What does the M and D in "orphan" stand for?

"Mum" and "Dad."

Why can an orphan not have homework? They do not have a home.

I've been looking for my parents for years. For the life of me, I can't remember where I buried them.

What do a Family Dollar and an orphan have in common? They both have a "f" in "family."

Why do orphans go to the market?

To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.

What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?

Only one is wanted.

What do orphans like to watch? Spider-Man: Homecoming.

Why do orphans ride the bus? Because they have no parents to drop them off.

Children and your meat are actually quite similar.

At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.

One morning I saw three kids were bullying one other kid because they didn't have a dad...

Later that day the three same kids were walking toward an orphanage. :)

What does an orphan not have in common with criminals?

Criminals are wanted.

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

Why doesn't the orphan's phone have a homepage, being it doesn't have a home?

Why was the orphan's first phone an iPhone X?

"It has no home button."

Mom: Let's have an adoption party!

Kid: *cries*

Mom: What's wrong?

Kid: I'M ADOPTED????

Why don't orphans play baseball?

They don't have a home to run back to.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

What’s the difference between candy and an orphan?

Candy is something everybody wants.