Family Jokes

I look at an orphanage, then hug my mum. He just looks sad and crude because he couldn’t find his mum.

Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.

So I threw a coconut at her.

Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?

Because it’s a family business.

Why can't orphans go on field trips?

Parents' signature _______________________________

I made a website for an orphan.

It had no homepage.

Me when the your, uh, uhhhh, when your me when the your, uhhh, uhhhhh, mom.

Why are orphans never in jail?

Because they're never wanted.

If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.

Why did the orphan go to the monkey exhibit?

To see his closest relatives.

Your mum's so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.

What is the difference between apples and orphans?

The apples get picked.

My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.

What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.

Why do dads take time to get?

Milk?

What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?

Play pretend dog in the bed.

Jacob likes fucking me and my mom.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t find home plate.

What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?

My dad went to get both and never came back.

Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Orphans don't get picked.