Family jokes

The pie tasted weird today.

Then I realized that my mother likes cooking pie with human flesh from C town.

Why are orphans so bad at poker?

They don't know what a full house is.

Orphans around my area only watched Youtube Shorts.

I asked them and then realized they can't click the home button.

Orphans have it lucky.

When teachers threaten to call parents, the orphans say, "Try me."

When teachers give homework, orphans say, "Where?"

"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."

I met a baseball player, so I told him to make a home run, and he just looked at me with sadness. I don't know why.

By the way, he was an orphan.

Why do orphans cry alone?

They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.

I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."

When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.

Why can't an orphan win a baseball game?

Because they can't reach home.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because they can't go home.

Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"

Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.

"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"

"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."

One day, a man visited an orphanage.

Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"

The kid cries even harder.

I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.

Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?

Because the dad never came with the milk.

Why do orphans air?

It’s invisible just like their parents.

My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.

You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!

Why don't orphans play tag?

Because there's no one to catch.