Family jokes
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They ain't got no home to run to.
Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.
To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."
Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
Is their [there] a doctor anywhere?
My mom has a few problems & those problems is [are] that my mom has big tits, fat ass & sweet pussy that needs attention. Help anyone.
My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.
Damn boy, you must be Nick Cannon because you don’t know when or how to stop.
I just encountered a father and son moment over some milk.
The dad finally came back with the milk!
Tuesday, I was looking at my family tree, and two dogs were using it.
BlessedBrian’s mom’s birth certificate is a COLLECTOR’S ITEM.
Lil bro's hairline is making me hungry wit that M shape also hitten me wit that damb batab bat bat baaa.
Marriage is really educational.
When I was single, I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put a fork in the dishwasher.
A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.
First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.
My parents raised me as an only child, which infuriated my sister.
My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.
You know what’s traumatizing?
Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.
Help!
Why do orphans do so well in life?
When people told them "Go big or go home," they only had one option.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,
"Please send me a sibling!"
Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"
You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.
So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD
Yo, hairline go so far back that your dad found it before you did.
When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"