Family jokes

Why do orphans say, "Go big or go home?"

So that way they feel important.

My ex was an orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?

Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?

Because it’s a family business.

Why do orphans play tennis?

So they can finally get love.

Me and Billy Bob the 1st, Billy Bob the 2nd, and Billy Bob 4th Jr. were all in the Twin Towers.

Why do orphans hate cereal?

Because their dad never came back with the milk.

How did the orphan become famous?

By "go[ing] big or go[ing] home."

Why can't orphans go on school field trips?

Parent signature________________

What is wrong with the orphan website? It doesn't have a homepage.

Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.

10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.

Orphans have 363 days on a calendar because they don't have Mothers' or Fathers' Day.

Why do orphans go to church?

To call someone "father."

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't hit a home run.

What TV series do orphans hate?

"House, M.D."

Why is the orphan happy when he wakes up from a coma?

Because there is a family reunion.

The orphan's best friend wanted to meet his family, so he took a selfie.

The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.

I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.

Why don't orphans understand dad jokes?

What is the other word for an orphan?

Paren't.