Family jokes
What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
The boomerang comes back.
When I get jokes. They aren't f****** restarted like you.
My sister.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find their home.
POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
Kid: Which were me, are your parents?
Orphan: What are parents?
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?
Vin Diesel has family.
Why do orphans love a room of mirrors?\n\nBecause they're surrounded by loved ones!
What is missing on an orphanage computer? The motherboard.
Why do orphans try to be arrested? So that they'll be wanted.
Orphans get family-sized chips for free.
How are my sister‘s legs and peanut butter alike?\n\nThey’re both smooth and easy to spread.
What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?
A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.
Why can’t Homer Simpson bring his family into Moe’s Tavern?
Because there’s a bartender in there.
What dating app do people in Alabama use? Ancestry.com.
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
Why can orphans only watch G-rated movies?
Because they have no parental guidance.
What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One of them is picked.