Family jokes
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t have a home to run to.
What is the difference between an orphan and a phone?
A phone has a home button.
A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.
The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"
Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"
Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"
Why can't orphans be gay? They got no one to call "daddy."
I look at an orphanage, then hug my mum. He just looks sad and crude because he couldn’t find his mum.
Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
Heh, stupid orphan.
Why don't orphans understand dad jokes?
Why do orphans say, "Go big or go home?"
So that way they feel important.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
What is the other word for an orphan?
Paren't.
I came on for an orphan joke.
Then I realized they are a joke.
Why can't orphans go on field trips?
Parents' signature _______________________________
Your mom is so fat, that burger.
Why do orphans hate cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why are orphans never in jail?
Because they're never wanted.
Why is the orphan happy when he wakes up from a coma?
Because there is a family reunion.
The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.
I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.