Family jokes
From your Dad.
I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.
Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
Why is the iPhone X the perfect phone for an orphan?
Because there is no home button.
I hate family reunions.
I see too many of my ex's there.
What does an apple and an orphan have in common?
One gets picked.
What's an orphan's favorite movie? Spiderman: No Way Home.
Why did the orphan go to church?
To hear some "foster" parenting advice.
I made a website to adopt orphans. But there is no home page.
My brother said, "Bruh, why you so ugly plus why do you stink?" Me: "Is that supposed to be a roast? I got one for you. Why do you look like you came out the wrong side of your mother? Instead of her stomach, you came out of her butt. That's why you were born with brown spots on your head. That's her poop, you stupid fuckface." My friends: "Ouch that's gotta hurt."
When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.
Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because their parents aren't there to watch them!
I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.
Yo mama so fat, she has to use pillowcases for socks.
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
What does my dad and the Twin Towers have in common? They used to be with us, now it's just a sensitive topic.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they like to feel wanted!
Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
What’s the difference between a boomerang and an orphan's parents?
One of the two actually came back.😂
Celebrating Mother's Day is confusing, says my cousin.