Family jokes
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”
I bought this happy birthday card for this orphan.
To: The Orphan
From: ______
Why are orphans banned from the shop?
No adult to pay for them.
Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
My father, who flew the plane, couldn't have a funeral, he went everywhere.
Bro, the Twin Towers are like my grandpa and his friends. One survived—my grandpa. The others have fallen—his friends.
Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?
Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.
Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?
Orphan: About 200 years.
Why are tomatoes green? Because they rot, like your mum.
I called an orphan Spiderman because he's "no way home."
What movie do orphans relate to the most?
- Home Alone
Why did the orphan run away?
They wanted to go home.
Why are orphans bad at basketball?
Because no one is there for them to pass [the ball].
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
What's an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy ;)
It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG.
I dressed up as Darth Vader at an orphanage and said, "I am your father!"
Guys, what do you call an un-aborted and parentless child?...
An orphan.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
The emo kid's mom went to jail because the kid was hung.
Why can't orphans fail a test?
Because the teacher is gonna ask their parents to sign it.