Family jokes

Bowling is like child support: it involves balls.

It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...

He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.

I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"

I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3

What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?

Play pretend dog in the bed.

Jacob likes fucking me and my mom.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t find home plate.

What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?

My dad went to get both and never came back.

Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.

We don't joke about orphans unless they have family. Then we assassinate the family.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They don't know where home is.

How do you know if your sister's on her period?

Your dad's dick tastes funny.

What's worse than fingering your sister?

Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Orphans don't get picked.

What's the difference between an orphan and a pencil?

People actually have a use for one of them.

What's the difference between an orphan and a dog?

One of them is actually loved.

Why will the orphan never say, "Honey, I'm home?"

No one wants him, not even the bees.

What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.

Kid 123, how's downline Orphan what? Home! 😂😂😂😂😂 Sorry.

"Imagine being an orphan, could never be me," I say. For some reason, everyone started crying, then I walked out of Dave's orphanage.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they don’t have a home to run to.

Why can't orphans go on field trips?

Parents' signature _______________________________