Family jokes
What's the best part of being an orphan?
All the chips and candy bars are family sized.
I asked Siri why I am still single; she showed me a pic of my mom riding on my dick!
How can you tell when your sister is on her period?
Your dad's knob tastes funny.
Cousins make dozens.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell 'em to clap until their parents come home.
Well, if someone ever calls you gay 🌈🏳️🌈, just say, "Well, at least I'm straighter than the pole your mommy dances on." 🤣🖕
What was the ONLY difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples got picked.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he had someone to call Father.
I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.
So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!
What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?
Batman has no one to call "daddy."
Why should you never give an orphan a phone?
Because they wouldn't be able to find the home button.
You know what orphans and Batman have in common? They'll both never see their parents again.
Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."
Me: Want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.
Friend: What's funny about that?
Me: Because the next day they disowned me.
Cow A: I slept with your sister!
Cow B: Never knew my brother was a girl!
All the other cows:
:O
Yo mama is so fat, when she saw the Titanic, she called it small.
Mom: Clean your room! Me: No, it’s my room, and I don’t want to clean it. Mom: You are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter. Me: Well, I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now, am I? You are the worst. Why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter? I’m not her, OK? I am not her, so stop! Mom: Do you know what? I pushed you out of my hula for 43 minutes! Do not make me hate you, because guess what? I brought you into the world, and I can take you out of it! Me: Bro.
Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?
A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.
What do orphans and dinosaurs have in common?
Their parents are extinct.
Johny Sin's son checked his father's folder of p*rn in his laptop.
and found that in all the videos his father is...