Family jokes
I kidnapped an orphan. What are they going to do? Cry for mom?
My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home. š¢
What do Joe Biden and orphans have in common?
No one loves them!
My mum told me to take out the trash, but I couldnāt find you.
Memes
Why do orphans like emos?
Reverse "emo" and put an "h" in the beginning.
My uncle was a priest.
He had a two-inch penis, but when it was in my ass, it felt like a torpedo.
Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.
Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.
Judge: But why?
Accused: Because Iām an orphan.
What was Stephen Hawking's mother's name?
Ilean.
I saw a kid crying today and asked them, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working at an orphanage!
I was making a bet with my grandfather about who would die first. I said that I would die first.
He said "Bet" and died after he drank his coffee.
He was my least favorite grandparent.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my sister?
There is no difference.
My depressed mom looks good hanging from a tree.
What is similar about the feelings of a girl's birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?
They both worry about how she will turn out!
Little boy: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Little boy: Your parents.
I love to play catch with my dad! He's never there to catch the ball, though.
I bought my spoiled brother a trampoline for his birthday, but he decided to sit in his wheelchair like a little bitch.
Why is Mrs. Grapes š a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.
Why did the orphan cross the street? Because they thought that mommy and daddy was on the other side.
On my 21st Birthday, my mom told me, "I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child, you're going to get something good, something you've been looking forward to," is what my mom said.
Me, my mom, and my only friend celebrated my Birthday, then we all went to sleep. I woke up the next day. I asked, "Hey, where's my gift you said you got me?" My mom said, "Since your father left us, you have no father figure in your life, so this is your new stepfather." The only thing is, it was my only friend.