Family jokes
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.
How did the digital clock show off to its mother?
Look, Ma, no hands!
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're not wanted.
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and his boomerang?
One of them actually came back.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me!
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
At least one of them gets picked.
A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."
What did the orphan say to his dad last?
Please get non-fat milk!
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the orphan fall off the mountain? Because his parents let go.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back...
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He couldn't find home.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. That's why orphanages exist!
I was excited to watch Fast and Furious because of Dom Toretto, then I realized family is nothing to me 'cause I'm an orphan.