Family jokes

What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?

"I'm sorry, I just had to."

I was excited to watch Fast and Furious because of Dom Toretto, then I realized family is nothing to me 'cause I'm an orphan.

Dad: Ok kids, this selfie will just be me! *screen cracks*

*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*

Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”

Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”

Teacher: “Why?”

Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”

Does an orphanage have daddy issues?

Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.

Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.

Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?

Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.

Why can’t orphans go on field trips?

Because they need a parent signature.

Boy: Will you remember me in a minute?

Mom: Yes.

Boy: Will you remember me in a day?

Mom: Yes.

Boy: Will you remember me in a year?

Mom: Yes.

Boy: Knock knock.

Mom: Who's there?

Boy: Bitch, you forgot me.

If Kenny had a son, we all know he would also be his brother.

My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.

Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.

Why is it okay to hit an orphan?

It’s not like they can tell their parents.

Why did the orphan fall off the mountain? Because his parents let go.

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it leaves and never comes back...

They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. That's why orphanages exist!

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

At least one of them gets picked.

I was at school when I remembered I forgot my necklace, then I screamed out, "Shit, I forgot Grandpa!"

Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't hit home runs.

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was 5.

If I make fun of orphans, they will cry to their parents.

Oh wait...