Family jokes

Why did the orphan cross the road?

To get to the real estate agent.

I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.

What would they do? Go to their family?

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

They don't know where home is.

I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.

Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?

Because dad never came back with the milk.

What issues don't orphans have?

Daddy issues.

I was the second worst thing to happen to those orphans.

Why do orphans commit crimes?

It’s the only time they’re ever wanted.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked.

What's the difference between an orphan and a criminal?

The criminal is wanted.

What’s the difference between orphans and apples?

Apples get picked.

Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.

When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!

What is an orphan's favorite naval film?

"Spider-Man: No Way Home."

What’s an orphan’s favorite movie?

Spider-Man: Homecoming.

Why can’t orphans go on field trips?

Because they need a parent signature.

Why are orphans so lucky?

Every crisp packet is family sized.

I fucked your mom, oh wait, you don't have one.

What is the one word orphans don’t know? Homework.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

They can't find home.