Family jokes

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One gets picked, and the other doesn't.

Why do orphans go to church?

So they have someone to call father.

I made a website about orphans.

It didn’t have a homepage though.

Jokes are like your grandparents, old and dead.

Orphans don't have phones because the home button doesn't work.

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was 5.

If I make fun of orphans, they will cry to their parents.

Oh wait...

I specialize in jokes about orphans. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What do you call an orphan who became a priest?

Father-less.

My sister: You were born ugly.

Me: I'm not a mirror, sis.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and kids?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

My uncles like the moon.

He comes out at night.

What is an orphan's favorite song?

"Home."

A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.

Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.

You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."

What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?

Her miscarriage.

Joseph Jackson wants Michael's kids to tour as the Jackson 3.

Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"

The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."

Your hairline bent like the relationship with your mom and dad.