Family jokes
Jokes are like your grandparents, old and dead.
Joseph Jackson wants Michael's kids to tour as the Jackson 3.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
'Cause they can’t get home.
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.
A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."
What did the orphan say to his dad last?
Please get non-fat milk!
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back...
Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.
When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie?
Spider-Man: Homecoming.
What is an orphan’s least favorite movie?
"Spider-Man," because it told them there was no way home.
What is an orphan's favorite naval film?
"Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
Why can’t an orphan get arrested?
Because they're not wanted.
Why are orphans so lucky?
Every crisp packet is family sized.
What's the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
The criminal is wanted.