Family jokes

When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.

Me: You f&*k up.

The class: Oh sh!&

What is the thing that orphans miss the most?

Their parents.

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

'Cause they can’t get home.

I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.

What is an orphan's favorite toy?

Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.

Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?

Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.

Mom: Excuse me?

Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?

I don’t know and I don’t care.

There was a kid being mean to another kid at an orphanage. The kid said, "Stop!" but the mean one said, "What are you going to do? Call your mommy?"

What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.

What is an orphan’s least favorite movie?

"Spider-Man," because it told them there was no way home.

What is the one word orphans don’t know? Homework.

Why are orphans so lucky?

Every crisp packet is family sized.

What's the difference between an orphan and a criminal?

The criminal is wanted.

I fucked your mom, oh wait, you don't have one.

What’s the difference between orphans and apples?

Apples get picked.

Why can’t an orphan get arrested?

Because they're not wanted.

This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.

What’s an orphan’s favorite movie?

Spider-Man: Homecoming.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

To get to the real estate agent.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

They don't know where home is.

Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.

He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"

She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."