Family

Family jokes

Status

I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single.

I fight with my parents, but you don't see me change my status to "Orphan."

Orphan

Why is it okay to hit an orphan?

It’s not like they can tell their parents.

Memes

Society

why did i laugh at this? this is alot like someone I know.. hmm- ( in the cmmts write who u think it is!)

The image shows six panels, each depicting a different idea of what work from home looks like. The first shows someone sleeping with a pug, labeled "What society thinks I do." The second shows a hand holding a remote, with popcorn, labeled "What my family thinks I do." The third shows a child using a laptop, labeled "What my friends think I do." The fourth shows a woman with large sunglasses and luggage, labeled "What my clients think I do." The fifth shows a woman looking at a computer screen, labeled "What I think I do." The last shows a woman yelling into a phone, labeled "What I really do."

Doctor

A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."

Son

If Kenny had a son, we all know he would also be his brother.

Suicide attempt

My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.

Orphan

Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!

Orphan

*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*

Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”

Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”

Teacher: “Why?”

Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”

Orphanage

Does an orphanage have daddy issues?

Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.

Dad

Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.

Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?

Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.

Orphan

I was excited to watch Fast and Furious because of Dom Toretto, then I realized family is nothing to me 'cause I'm an orphan.

Dentist

Dad: What time do you wanna go to the dentist?

Daughter: *tooth hurty*

Dad: All right.

Parade

Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?

Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.

Grass

My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.