Family Jokes

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it leaves and never comes back...

A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."

Why did the orphan fall off the mountain? Because his parents let go.

They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. That's why orphanages exist!

If Kenny had a son, we all know he would also be his brother.

The image shows three panels. The top left panel is a close-up of a gift wrapped in festive paper. The top right panel shows a cardboard box with a small, rectangular item inside. The bottom panel is a close-up of a cartoon image of two fish, one handing the other a small box. The text reads: "I couldn't afford a present this year, so I got you this box."

My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.

Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!

*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*

Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”

Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”

Teacher: “Why?”

Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”

Does an orphanage have daddy issues?

Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.

Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.

Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?

Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.

I was excited to watch Fast and Furious because of Dom Toretto, then I realized family is nothing to me 'cause I'm an orphan.

Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?

He couldn't find home.

Dad: What time do you wanna go to the dentist?

Daughter: *tooth hurty*

Dad: All right.

Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?

Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.

My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.

Who makes the best anteaters?

Uncle's... (Aunt eaters)

My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.