Family jokes
This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.
What is an orphan’s least favorite movie?
"Spider-Man," because it told them there was no way home.
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
Why can’t an orphan get arrested?
Because they're not wanted.
Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?
Memes
This is how @The Ugly Rats cousin Looks like
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
My sister: You were born ugly.
Me: I'm not a mirror, sis.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and kids?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
My uncles like the moon.
He comes out at night.
What is an orphan's favorite song?
"Home."
A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.
Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.
Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?
Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.
My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.
Me: *Realizes*
Your hairline bent like the relationship with your mom and dad.
When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.
Me: You f&*k up.
The class: Oh sh!&
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
'Cause they can’t get home.