Family jokes
My sister said that if you go to a random person's door, the sister will all Waze open it.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Son: Mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me?
Mom: No, that's impossible.
Son: But it is possible for your secret boyfriend, right?
Mom: No, no, please don't tell your dad. I will make a strawberry cake for you.
Son: Daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake, so because of that, I felt jealous ^_^
What's the difference between an orphan and a slice of pizza?
Nothing, I eat both of them.
What did the orphan say to his parents? Nothing, cause they left him.
What is the difference between iPhones and orphans?
iPhones have a home button.
Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?
Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?
Son said to father, "Last night was the best you and Mom..."
Father said, "Yeah, me, you, and your mother had sex."
Son said, "It was fun licking her pussy."
Father said, "I know it was fun when I sucked YOUR dick and your mother did. Did it feel good?"
Son said, "Yes, it was. Wanna do it again tomorrow?"
Father said, "YES BUT without your mom, we'll suck each other's dick and lick it and bite and shove each other's dick next to each other."
Son said, "Yeah, and if we do it again, let's have Mom and my girlfriend join next time."
Father said, "Ok, it's time to go to bed, son."
Son said, "Ok, love you, can you and Mom sleep with me without your clothes?"
Father said, "Ok, but you have to promise to go to bed."
Son said, "Ok, see you there." 💕👅👅👅💦💦💦💦💦💦🙈🙈💦💦💦💦💦
What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?
His little brother with the console.
This site is darker than fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring.
Why can't orphans breathe? They are drowning in their own tears.
Rhydon- son.
Rhydon? - mum.
RHYDON DEEZ NUTS! - son.
Jeez, ur like ur father in bed- mum.
XD
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”
Cousin: Hey, is that an octopus?
Me: Yes, what, it is just an octopus.
Cousin: Oh yeah, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Octopus touch me!
Me: What, it is just one..... ummmmm dad cousin d[id].
What's the difference between a (hypothetical) girl and cancer?
Her dad didn't beat cancer.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why can't orphans have an iPhone?
'Cause they can't find the home button.
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.
Why can’t orphans get married in Alabama?
Because they don’t have a sister.