Family jokes
My uncles like the moon.
He comes out at night.
A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.
Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
What is the thing that orphans miss the most?
Their parents.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
'Cause they can’t get home.
My sister: You were born ugly.
Me: I'm not a mirror, sis.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and kids?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is an orphan's favorite song?
"Home."
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.
Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?
Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
There was a kid being mean to another kid at an orphanage. The kid said, "Stop!" but the mean one said, "What are you going to do? Call your mommy?"
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
Joseph Jackson wants Michael's kids to tour as the Jackson 3.
Your hairline bent like the relationship with your mom and dad.
When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.
Me: You f&*k up.
The class: Oh sh!&
Orphans don't have phones because the home button doesn't work.
What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.