Family jokes
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
Toast is like parents.
If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.
Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.
How did the digital clock show off to its mother?
Look, Ma, no hands!
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
Brutha was caught lacking
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"
What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?
The cat is actually cute.
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.
What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
Puppies actually get picked.
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're not wanted.
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
My uncle hid my weed, so I hid his wheelchair.
What do you call an orphan that grows to be a priest?
Fatherless.
Yo momma's so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology letter.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.
Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?
Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and his boomerang?
One of them actually came back.