Family jokes
Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?
Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home looks like.
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
Toast is like parents.
If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.
Why are Mexican families so big?
They don’t know how to put a condom on.
What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?
The cat is actually cute.
Why couldn't the orphan get an Android? Because it didn't have a home button.
Do you think we should ask the orphan's parents' permission?
Wait... nevermind.
New teacher: "I was an orphan when I was young."
Student: "But!"
Teacher: "Is something missing?"
Student: "Your parents!"
Why was the orphan so good at baseball?
Because his coach said, "Go long or go home."
What do blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're not wanted.
Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.
What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
Puppies actually get picked.
My uncle hid my weed, so I hid his wheelchair.
My sister: You were born ugly.
Me: I'm not a mirror, sis.
Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.