Family jokes
Why did Grampa pass out? Because of diabetes.
Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.
My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.
Me: *Realizes*
My sister: You were born ugly.
Me: I'm not a mirror, sis.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and kids?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
My uncles like the moon.
He comes out at night.
Memes
What is an orphan's favorite song?
"Home."
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.
Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?
Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
Joseph Jackson wants Michael's kids to tour as the Jackson 3.
A kid told me to go get a dad, so I punched the kid. He went to tell his parents. Oh wait, he can't, 'cause he's an orphan, and orphans have no parents.
Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.
Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"
The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
Your hairline bent like the relationship with your mom and dad.
When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.
Me: You f&*k up.
The class: Oh sh!&
What is the thing that orphans miss the most?
Their parents.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
'Cause they can’t get home.
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.