Family

Family jokes

Orphan

Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?

Because dad never came back with the milk.

Bullshit

Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"

The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."

Ugliness

You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."

Dad

What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.

Orphanage

There was a kid being mean to another kid at an orphanage. The kid said, "Stop!" but the mean one said, "What are you going to do? Call your mommy?"

Orphan

I specialize in jokes about orphans. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Lamborghini

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and kids?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Tree

You were supposed to be born in the tree.

The sticks were your siblings.

Abuse

I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.

Orphanage

I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.

God, orphanages are fun to work at!!