Family jokes

Why do orphans have no bruises?

Because they have no dad to beat them.

Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't hit home runs.

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was 5.

Orphans don't have phones because the home button doesn't work.

Jokes are like your grandparents, old and dead.

What is an orphan's least favorite snack?

"Dots HOMESTYLE Pretzels!"

What do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common?

They're both filled with happy little accidents.

Why did the orphan fall off the mountain? Because his parents let go.

They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. That's why orphanages exist!

Coworker: Knock knock.

Orphan: Who's there?

Coworker: Not your parents.

My father touched me yesterday. I called him a priest.

What's the difference between an orphan and Stuart Little?

Stuart Little got chosen!

Why was the orphan confused at the baseball game?

They kept yelling, "Go home!"

I made Google Earth for orphan kids.

Sadly, it does not show where home is.

What is the difference between an apple spread and an orphan spread?

Apples get picked.

What's an orphan's least favorite joke?

Dad jokes.

I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.

God, orphanages are fun to work at!!

I say, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

If you're happy and you know it, f*** your mom.

Why do orphans become criminals when they grow up? Because they want to be wanted.