Family jokes
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!
What's fat and wanks over his mom?
Guy Sheppard.
What makes an orphan jump?
A bridge.
Wanna know something the orphan could never do?
Wish anyone a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
Memes
Why can't an orphan ever be a criminal?
Because he isn't wanted.
What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?
They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.
Why was the orphan so successful?
Because his options were to go bigger or go home. He only had one choice. :)
Why do orphans go to prison?
Because that's their only home.
Why should you never give an orphan a phone?
Because they wouldn't be able to find the home button.
All the people disliking these jokes are definitely orphans.
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Spider-Man: Homecoming."
I swear I always finish on page 3 when I'm looking at family pictures.
What is the worst part about siblings having sex?
Being left out.
My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.
So I had him bring my wife.
One man's trash is another man's treasure. That sucks when you are adopted.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
What's the worst place to teach an orphan? Homeschool.
My uncle is an alchemist.
He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.