Family jokes
Why can't an orphan play basketball?
Because no one will be cheering them on.
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple gets picked.
My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.
One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.
Memes
Orphan kids only play GTA5 so they can be wanted.
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
When it's April Fool's Day, go to an orphan and say, "Their parents should come back!"
I remember my uncle's last words:
"I don't think we're going shooting today."
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
Why did the orphan play GTA? Because he wanted to feel the wanted level.
MOM: Honey, I'm pregnant.
DAD: Hi, Pregnant, I'm Dad.
MOM: No, you're not.
Q. There were two sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named?
A. Denephew.
Today was a really bad day. My mother-in-law was hit by a cab AND I lost my job as a cab driver!
Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sister, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughters. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.
If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
The mother and her daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The mother realized this and took off looking for her. After a while, she found her tugging on a black man. The mother asked, "What are you doing?" and the daughter replied, "I wan't the chocolate!"
Me: Want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.
Friend: What's funny about that?
Me: Because the next day they disowned me.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
Who needs dating apps when you have family reunions?