Family jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."
And her mom said, "WHAT?!"
And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"
Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."
Mom: Can I tell you a joke?
Kid: Sure.
Mom: Knock knock.
Kid: Who's there?
Mom: Not yo.
Kid: Not yo who?
Mom: Not yo father.
Kid: Not yo husband either.
Guys, stop telling orphan jokes, soon they're gonna tell they're par... oh wait, never mind, carry on.
I made an orphan website. It does not have a home page.
Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"
Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"
My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother.
My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.
Why can't orphans celebrate Christmas?
Father Christmas left them.
Grandpa said, "No phone near the table," so I said, "You're not allowed near the school."
Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?
Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"
We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?
"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple gets picked.
Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.
Why can't an orphan play basketball?
Because no one will be cheering them on.
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.