Family jokes

Jamal: Dads CAN grow on trees, Joseph.

Joseph: No, they don't.

Jamal: Yes, they do. I've seen it.

Joseph: ... that's not what you thought it was.

Never say to an orphan, "Bye buddy, hope you find your dad!"

I saw a kid crying. I asked him what's wrong, where are your parents? They paused and looked at me funny... GOD I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

At least one of them gets picked.

Why does that kid have to stay in that orphanage?

He should just go to his mom and dad!

Why can’t an orphan be gay?

Because they have no one to call “daddy.”

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple actually gets picked.

What’s the difference between a parentless child and someone who is fond of unprocessed metals?

One is an orphan, and the other is an ore fan.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Why can’t orphans go on a field trip?

Parent signature __________

My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.

Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing to this day!

Well, at least my adoption fee cost more than you.

I always wanted to go to the store as a kid because I always wanted to look for my dad that went to go get the milk, but I could never find him.

What did the adopted poker player say?

"Will you raise me?"

One time I was watching TV.

Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!

Me: Omg, really?

Mom: Sike, I lied.

Yo mama so stupid, she raised you.

I copied my friend's work. It's not like the teacher can tell my parents.

Everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.

Why do orphans love elevators?

They raise people!