Family jokes

"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."

"Aaron, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."

Why can’t orphans be gay? Because they have no closet to come out of.

A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks, "Did you get her number?"

He replies, "No, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion!"

Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”

The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."

I saw a website for orphans. It was a bit confusing because I could not find the homepage.

I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...

"Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."

Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)

Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?

A: Fall.

If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.

Why can’t orphans get in trouble?

Because there’s no one to give a phone call home to.

Are all orphans home-a-phobic?

What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.

What’s the difference between a child who is home alone and an orphan?

They’re both alone, but only one is home.

What has 4 hairy legs and fucks my sister?

Me & my dad!

I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.

What milk do orphan babies drink?

Not their mom's, though.

What are the similarities between the twin towers and my ex?

They both went down on my dad.

For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"

Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.

Did y’all hear about the increasing divorce rate because people are addicted to Fortnite?

They’re just two weeks to quit.

I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.

My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.