Family jokes
So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"
Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"
A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks, "Did you get her number?"
He replies, "No, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion!"
Why can’t orphans be gay? Because they have no closet to come out of.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
I saw a website for orphans. It was a bit confusing because I could not find the homepage.
Memes
Once upon a time, there was a woman named Sarah who woke up one morning to find her husband and his wheelchair missing. She searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, she put up posters all over town offering a reward.
I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...
"Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."
Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)
Are all orphans home-a-phobic?
Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?
A: Fall.
If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”
The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."
Why can’t orphans get in trouble?
Because there’s no one to give a phone call home to.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
Your mum, your dad, The things you never had.
My mom said, "Take out the trash," but I couldn't find you.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find their home base.
I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.
What did the orphan say to his parents?
I'm tripping balls right now!
Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents!
What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?
Motherboard.
My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”
They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Me: A lot of things changed since I got my wife pregnant.
Friend: Like what?
Me: My name, my address, my phone number...