If anyone's gonna be fuckin' my sister, it's gonna be ME!
Family Jokes
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because no one misses them.
You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
What is an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.
What was the ONLY difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples got picked.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.
Why couldn’t the orphan play Xbox? Because there was no home button.
What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂
What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It's pasture your bedtime.
One day at school, I made fun of a girl who lost her hair from cancer, and my parents made me shave my head.
The next day at school, I made fun of an orphan.
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
What's your favorite place that orphans can't go to?
Home.
My mom told me yesterday that in this Valentine, we should take our love to new heights. So tomorrow I'm prepared to fuck her in "The Hot Seat" position.
