Family jokes
A woman is in the hospital giving birth. The doctor comes up to her afterwards.
Dr: "I'm sorry, I have good news and bad news."
Woman: "What's the bad news?"
Dr: "Your baby is Ginger!"
Woman: "Ok, so what's the good news?"
Dr: "It's dead!"
If your daily is a Chevy, then your mom is super heavy.
My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?
I told the last person I slept with I was pregnant. He freaked the fuck out but calmed down after he realized it was April Fools'.
The look on my cousin's face was hilarious.
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie character?
Harry Potter.
Yo mama so stupid, she studied for the COVID test.
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
Yo mama is so fat, when she saw the Titanic, she called it small.
What do my parents have in common with Nemo? They can't be found.
Did you know that the F in orphan means family?
There's no F in orphan?
Exactly.
What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"
Pregnant teen: I'm pregnant, my mum's gonna kill me.
Unborn baby: My mum's gonna kill me.
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
Why are orphans so happy on Christmas? Because they might get a family.
Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.
One man's trash is another man's treasure. That sucks when you are adopted.
What's an orphan's least favorite film? Family Guy.
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪