Family jokes
Q. Why was the orphan unable to use the phone?
A. He was trying to phone home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home. 😀😀
My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he had someone to call Father.
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
Your mom is heavier than Mariah can even carry.
Welcome to the Fast Food Divorce Center where yesterday's lies are today's fries.
"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."
Me:.....
Why did the Dad cross the road?
To get the milk.
Yo, Bloon... what bitch where the fuck my child support camo Bloon? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why do orphans have gross cakes?
Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.
An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."
So, my son is into astronomy, and he asked how stars die. I said, "Usually overdose."
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
Ok, so my brother made this, here it is:
Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? Chicken garbage!
Ok I know it makes no sense, but he made it when he was like 3.
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
Nobody really liked our fireplace.
So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.
Yo, sis, come here.
Sis: What?
Me: Oh, sorry, you doing school?
Sis: Yup.
Me: Can I go?
Sis: No way, you're going to hug me.
Me: I love you.
Sally's mother had four children. The fourth April, the second May, the third June. Who was the first child?
Sally.
My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.
If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.