Family jokes
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
Him: What's the difference between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?
Her: What?
Him: Nothing, either way you will be dating your cousin.
Yo mama so clueless, she sat on the TV to watch the couch.
Why do I go around making orphan jokes? Because they can't go crying to their parents. 😅
Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.
Memes
If anyone's gonna be fuckin' my sister, it's gonna be ME!
My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry...
So I threw a carrot at her.
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
One day at school, I made fun of a girl who lost her hair from cancer, and my parents made me shave my head.
The next day at school, I made fun of an orphan.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because no one misses them.
You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What was the ONLY difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples got picked.
What is an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It's pasture your bedtime.