Family jokes
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know how to hit a home run.
Yo mama so clueless, she sat on the TV to watch the couch.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't scream "daddy!"
I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words. They wanted to hear them. They are: "you still holding the ladder?"
Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.
What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?
The elevator can raise a family.
My dad smashed my PS5, so I smashed his wife.
Yo mama is so ugly, when there was a tornado, the tornado refused to suck her up.
I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.
Him: What's the difference between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?
Her: What?
Him: Nothing, either way you will be dating your cousin.
If anyone's gonna be fuckin' my sister, it's gonna be ME!
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
What was the ONLY difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples got picked.
What is an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.