Family jokes
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They have no home to run to.
Get it?
Girl, come here, my parents aren't home.
Orphan: Mine are never.
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow?
It's pasture your bedtime.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until their parents come home.
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re not wanted!
I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...
Me:...
Orphans got me like: 😂
A kid asks his mom what dark humor is.
She says, “You see that man with no arms, tell him to clap.”
“But mom, I’m blind!” says the kid.
“Exactly,” replied the mom.
What is an orphan's least favorite movie?
"Daddy's Home."
If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?
Why did the orphan join the baseball team?
Because he knew when he got to third base he could head home.
Not even the FBI knows where an orphan's parents are.
Why were the students jealous of the orphan?
He never had any homework!
(I'm going to hell for this)
What do you call an orphan?
Homeless.
I met a baseball player, so I told him to make a home run, and he just looked at me with sadness. I don't know why.
By the way, he was an orphan.
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”
Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.